No Buffing That: An allegedly frugal 32-year-old man had to make a costly trip to the body shop last week after someone, perhaps some digruntled lover, vandalized his car. Officers arrived to the scene of the crime to find the victim’s GMC Denali keyed, with “cheap ass” scratched along the passenger side and “fuck you” scratched into the driver’s side door. The man said he didn’t witness the crime, but assumes it is the same person who called him the same day and threatened to have someone beat him up.
Extra Crispy Police: responded to a call to a University-area Bojangle’s after a man allegedly had his teeth knocked out by the kick of a chicken biscuit. The victim told officers he was eating a biscuit at the location when he bit into a metal washer that had somehow made its way inside. The man reported that he broke three of his teeth in the incident.
Car On a Leash: A local tow-truck driver called police after letting a fish off the line last week. The man told officers that he was towing a car when the driver came out to his vehicle to confront him. Whatever was said, the driver wasn’t having it, because he got into his car to drive away. The problem was, his car was already attached to the tow truck. The driver was able to drive away, and did $300 in damage to the truck. He was later given a citation by police for damaging property.
Such a Tool: Two men were involved in a fight in east Charlotte and one of them took to the toolbox early in the confrontation. According to the police report, a 56-year-old man told officers he was struck over the head with a hammer and then stabbed in the wrist with a screwdriver during a fight in the morning. He also said the two began fighting again in the afternon, and the same suspect cut him across the jaw with the screwdriver. The suspect was arrested and charged with assault with a deadly weapon.
Such a Tool 2: One guy realized in the midst of an argument last week that it may not be bright to fight with his co-worker while the two are in the work truck together. The reporting person said the two, who work for a local moving company, began arguing while on their way to a job. The man driving the truck said the passenger eventually began threatening his life, and he felt he was in danger because his co-worker was holding a box cutter in one hand and a large pair of pliers in the other. These two are going to have to trust each other before they go moving a large dresser down the stairs together.
We All Die One Day: A local outsourcing office called police after finding a disturbing message written on a desk. The reporting people showed police the desk, in an unoccupied room, on which was written “Soon everyone here will die.” Depending on one’s definition of soon, the psycho might be right.
Good Samaritan: A man shopping at a local convenience store decided if he had to pay for his snacks then everyone would do the same. Management at the store called police after a man was apparently attempting to shoplift but was stopped by another customer. The upstanding citizen told management and police that he saw a man stuffing candy, sausage and beer into his pants and asked what he was doing. The suspect reportedly immediately returned all the goods and walked quickly out of the store. Our thoughts are with whomever ended up picking out the pants sausage.
Skinny Jeans: An 18-year-old man called police after realizing someone had pick-pocketed him for his cellphone. The man said he was visiting someone in east Charlotte when someone stole his iPhone 6 from his back pocket. He reported that he did not feel anybody touching the back of his pants but included in the report that his pants “were too tight for the phone to fall out of.”
Botox or Bust: A recent report from a Rea Road spa gave an example of the serious crime business owners in south Charlotte face every day. Employees at the spa reported that a woman came in and was treated with $375 worth of Botox but she slipped out the door before paying her bill. Staff said they couldn’t tell if the woman was acting nervous – or feeling any other emotion – before she made her break for it.
Not Playing Games: Although an armed robbery at a video game store in the University area about a month ago was caught on tape, police still had a hard time deciphering what crime they were seeing. A man walked into the store dressed in construction gear, right down to the neon vest, and pretended he wanted to return something while the younger man, who appeared to have entered with him, asked another employee for help elsewhere in the store. The construction worker – or possible member of the Village People – then pulled out a gun and forcibly pushed it into the cashier’s chest, demanding money. That’s when things get weird. The man threatens the other employee and an innocent gamer on his way out, but grabs the man he walked in with, forcing him out the door. Police said it looked like a kidnapping, but witnesses said it looked as if the two men jumped in a car together without the “victim” being forced, before driving off.
Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty.
This article appears in Aug 5-11, 2015.
