Typo: A cashier at a local Compare Foods called police after catching a counterfeiter whose methods were creative, if not exactly effective. The suspect attempted to pay for his groceries with a 100-dollar bill. After looking at the bill, the cashier noticed the man had simply printed 100 on a five-dollar bill. You may see a thief, but I see a man with the only reasonable solution to our budget-deficit crisis.
Bad TV: A 15-year-old girl filed a police report after receiving some scary phone calls from a known suspect. The girl told officers that the suspect called her and stated, “I’ll shoot you, your daughter and your boyfriend.” I have similar thoughts whenever I watch MTV’s Teen Mom, but I don’t pick up the phone and call Amber.
Old Buddies: Police responded to an assault on Central Avenue last week to find a pair of friends in a scuffle. The 45-year-old victim told officers that his “good friend” hit him over the head without warning and took eight dollars from his pocket. It was noted in the report that “the victim did not give anybody permission to take money from his possession.” Of course he didn’t give permission. What did you think the blow to the skull was for?
Working The Streets: Police responded to a child endangerment call in west Charlotte last week to find a 2-year-old female toddler wandering around the parking lot of an apartment complex at 1:30 a.m. There were no adults in the vicinity. Not many people would wander around a parking lot in west Charlotte at that time, so you have to give this little girl some props.
Yummy Surprise: A 26-year-old woman called police last week after waking up to find her car had been vandalized. The woman told officers that when she went to her driveway to get in her Hyundai Sonata, she found someone had covered it with eggs. The suspect also smeared peanut butter on the door handles and back bumper. Apparently, the woman would have cleaned it up, but she’d already had breakfast.
Threat of the Week: A 50-year-old man called police after receiving one of the scariest threats an ignorant white guy in the Bible Belt could get. The suspect, having recently moved out of the victim’s home, was upset that the victim had withheld his security deposit. The suspect said he was going to have “some black guys” go to the victim’s house and “completely destroy it.” Oh my! Better lock up your daughters.
Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.
This article appears in Sep 13-19, 2011.
