It appears the end is near my friends. That’s the only explanation I can think of anyway. And it looks like 2010 is the year it’s all gonna go down. We are not even finished with February and already the signs are obvious. Don’t believe me? Here is a look at some of the “happenings” that have already occurred. If all this can happen in recent weeks, the future of mankind is all downhill from here:
* Sebastian Bach, lead singer of 80’s metal band Skid Row, has gone to fat camp. And is allowing VH1 to film it and show it to the world. Oh, and he’s on the show with the likes of Kevin Federline and Bobby Brown.
* Ozzy Osbourne wrote a book.
* The Who get chosen to do the Super Bowl halftime show in front of the largest audience in TV history. They proceed to lay the biggest egg since Jessica Simpson stepped out in her “big-girl” pants.
* Legendary producer Quincy Jones decides to remake “We Are the World” to support Haiti relief, adding “We Are the World” to the top of the list of songs that should never be remade because they sucked so bad the first time around. I know it’s for charity, but there are better ways to give than supporting bad music.
* Jane’s Addiction, Spice Girls, Oasis (again – minus Noel Gallagher), Aerosmith (minus Steven Tyler), Journey (with their reality show winning lead singer) are all staging “comebacks”. In other news, cotton ball sales are through the roof.
* Jeff Bridges stars in the movie Crazy Heart, about a down on his luck, washed up singer. The Oscar nominated actor, when asked to describe his character, said that if he were real, the character would have been the fifth Highwayman with Willie, Wayland, Johnny and Mr. Kristofferson. Any time you put the words Jeff Bridges and Johnny Cash in the same sentence, it can’t be good.
* A Jonas brother got married. Hopefully her name starts with Yoko and ends with Ono.
This article appears in Feb 16-22, 2010.
I agree with some, but:
* Ozzy’s book is actually hilarious… review coming soon.
* Jane’s Addiction reunited last year – it was awesome – though the bass player left… again.
* Aerosmith is performing with Steven Tyler in England in June… so maybe they won’t tour without him just yet.
I actually read an excerpt from Ozzy’s book that was a story that involved the words Tommy Lee and groupie – high comedy.
Hopefully Stephen Tyler does stick around. I heard everyone from Lenny Kravitz to Ashlee Simpson rumored for the gig.
Well this blog is crap.
Does anyone over the age of 16 even watch VH1 anymore? So who cares?
The Who did great considering they are dinosaurs.
Jeff Bridges is a fantastic actor so I really don’t get that.
Comparing a Jonas Brother to a Beatle is really unfair considering no one will remember the Jonas Brothers in 10 years.
The apocalypse will always be on us while Wayne is around, that is the only correct answer.