Dear Karma Cleanser:
I realize I’m probably writing to the wrong place to air this grievance, given that karma isn’t exactly a Christian idea per se, but I feel like this has to be said.
To all you Christians who feel the need to tell me “Merry Christmas,” well, save it. I’m Jewish. In fact, I’m not even Jewish. I’m what my friends call “post-spiritual.”
No matter what I am, I don’t need yet another reminder that this is the time of the year with Christmas crap spread all over the place. So please, think first and then tell me “Happy Chanukah.” Or better yet, just say “Season’s Greetings.” Or even, “Have a nice day.” — Not the Grinch, just grumpy
Dear Grumpy: Well, Santa’s not going to bring you any Chanukah gifts with that attitude, mister. Oh, wait. Never mind. Have a nice day!
Dear Karma Cleanser:
I don’t believe in karma, but what happened to me recently does seem to prove that there’s some higher power at work.
My friend Tyrone had brought over a bottle of clear tequila to a party at another friend’s place. Tyrone made a point of telling us that he was trying to save some tequila for the weekend and didn’t want to drink all of it that night. But since Tyrone was being so greedy, the host of the party and I decided to play a little joke on him. While he was in the other room, we poured out about a third of his tequila and replaced it with water. We put the tequila in an empty bottle of Triple Sec.
We were proud of our joke until the party started to die down. Tyrone came and found his tequila bottle, which hadn’t been touched (as far as he thought), and invited us over to another friend’s place for another party.
We all went there, and Tyrone started making margaritas. Just a couple of drinks later and we were all extremely drunk. My friend and I didn’t at first catch what had happened, but soon we realized our mistake. Sure enough, Tyrone had also brought the Triple Sec, which he was using in the margaritas. In the end, our little prank backfired on us in a big way. My friend threw up at the party, and I decided never to drink margaritas again.
So, I’m not sure if that’s a case of bad karma, or just bad planning.— Hold the salt
How about bad bartending, if Tyrone’s too dense too notice the difference between Triple Sec and tequila? Regardless, maybe this should show you that karma sometimes can happen instantly — and doesn’t mix too well with lime juice.
Been bad? karma@creativeloafing.com.
This article appears in Dec 10-16, 2003.