Setting An Example: A 22-year-old woman called police after being threatened by a man while she picked up her son at Dixon Academy, an early education school. She told police that the man, who did not work at the academy, said, “I know where you work. I will have my girlfriend beat you up.” See kids, never be afraid to ask someone for help.
Value Menu: Police were called to a Taco Bell last week after it was robbed by two men. An employee told officers that the men pulled up to the drive-thru window and asked for some free empanadas. When the employee refused, the man in the passenger seat pulled a handgun from under his seat, put it on his lap and asked again. The victim gave them some empanadas and they drove off. You read that kids? Crime doesn’t pay … but it feeds you pretty well.
It’s A Glitch: A 32-year-old man called police after someone attempted to poison him, or so he believes, while he was working at a U.S. Airways station. He told officers that an unknown person slipped a red oval pill filled with an unknown liquid into the water bottle he was drinking from. You are obviously The One, and the rest of your life has just been a virtual reality. Take the pill, dammit.
Hot for Teacher: Employees at Mallard Creek Elementary School called police and the fire department after an act of arson was committed during class there. The teacher told officers that one of her students lit another student’s work on fire.
Heavy Sleeper: A 24-year-old woman called police after being threatened continuously by a known suspect. Over the course of a day, the suspect sent her multiple threatening texts and left her voice mails that said, “Bitch, you gonna get it. It’s not over. Don’t sleep too heavy tonight.” The suspect then went to the victim’s residence, where he found the woman’s mother. He told her mother, “Watch out, your girl might be in a body bag. I know she took my money.” I was getting ready to make fun of this idiot, but I’m kind of scared. Next.
Test Score .08: A teacher at West Mecklenburg High School called police after realizing that one of his students was drinking on the job. The teacher told officers he was lecturing during one of his ROTC classes when he smelled a strong odor of alcohol. He approached a boy who was drinking from a water bottle and found that the bottle was filled with tequila. If you can’t handle ROTC class without throwing some hard liquor back, you’re really going to have problems if they send you off to war.
Forgive Me: A 35-year-old man called police after he was rear-ended by a woman – who was at least nice enough to say goodbye. He told officers he was sitting at the light at Charlottetowne Avenue and Elizabeth Avenue when he felt a car strike his car from the back. When he looked back he saw a female with bright red hair raise her hands as if to say “I’m sorry.” The man pulled through the intersection and into the nearest parking lot, only to watch the woman pass by him and keep on going, with her arms still raised as if she was sorry.
Just You Wait: Police were called to a Rite Aid, a place police are called to more frequently than I would’ve guessed, after a seemingly mentally disturbed man was causing a disturbance in the store. An employee told officers that the man was creating loud noises and when he was asked to leave, he looked at the victim and stated, “I’m going to kill you.” He then began searching his pockets for something before being pushed out of the store. As soon as I find this gun that I imagined into my pocket I will shoot you with my magic bullets.
Intimidation: A 32-year-old man called police after being threatened by a man that he apparently has a bad history with. He told officers the man called him late one night and stated, “You better not go to court or you will get into trouble. Something is going to happen to you.” Something tells me that if he goes to court, YOU will be the one getting in trouble. Just a hunch.
Best. Threat. Ever.: A 40-year-old man called police after receiving a strange text from an unknown number with a Miami area code. The man stated that at 3 p.m. he received a text message that read, “If u ignore dis u will C a lil dead girl n ur room 2nite iN 53secs Some1 willy.” Five days later he received the same exact text, horrible spelling and all. I’ve read this threat out loud too many times … it sort of feels like I am losing brain cells every time I do it.
Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.
This article appears in Mar 30 – Apr 5, 2010.
