Out of the 50 motion picture titles that appeared in CL‘s 2003 Spring Film Preview around this time last year, five were subsequently released during later seasons (including My Baby’s Mama, which was delayed for nine months and finally opened this past weekend under the title My Baby’s Daddy). Another three opened in limited release but never trickled down to Charlotte, one ended up going straight to video, and two have been placed back on the shelves after an embarrassing number of aborted release dates.
In other words, before perusing the following checklist of 57 flicks slated for spring release, go ahead and accept the fact that some of these movies will suddenly evaporate between now and the start of the summer season, with their final fate a mystery to everyone but their respective studios’ top brass.
JANUARY 16: A jilted fiance (Ben Stiller) who decides to avoid any semblance of risk in his life makes the mistake of dating a reckless thrill seeker (Jennifer Aniston) in the romantic comedy ALONG CAME POLLY, co-starring Philip Seymour Hoffman and Alec Baldwin . . . The grand prize winner at last year’s Cannes Film Festival, ELEPHANT is director Gus Van Sant’s fictionalized take on the Columbine shootings . . . One of the best films of 2003, MONSTER stars Charlize Theron in an Oscar-worthy turn as real-life killer Aileen Wuornos . . . Based on the short-lived TV series, Disney’s animated TEACHER’S PET relates the adventures of a dog who’s been turned into a human (voiced by Nathan Lane) . . . Last January gave us Biker Boyz; this year, we get TORQUE, in which a biker (Martin Henderson) falsely accused of murder tries to remain one step ahead of the gang leader (Ice Cube) whose brother he supposedly killed.
JANUARY 23: A troubled young man (Ashton Kutcher) discovers that by accessing the journals he had kept during his teen years, he’s able to travel back to that period of time and alter the course of his life in the thriller THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT . . . A group of FBI trainees (including Val Kilmer, Christian Slater and LL Cool J) learns that there’s a killer in their midst in MINDHUNTERS, a Ten Little Indians variation written by Wayne Kramer (whose enjoyable 2003 effort The Cooler should reach Charlotte at some point in “04) . . . Topher Grace competes against his That “70s Show co-star Ashton Kutcher this weekend by starring in WIN A DATE WITH TAD HAMILTON!, a comedy in which a small-town girl (Kate Bosworth) lands a date with a Hollywood hunk (Josh Duhamel), much to the dismay of a classmate (Grace) who’s in love with her.
JANUARY 30: THE BIG BOUNCE, an adaptation of an Elmore Leonard novel that was previously filmed in 1969 (with Ryan O’Neal and Leigh Taylor-Young), stars Owen Wilson as a drifter who ends up in Hawaii and finds his loyalty torn between various characters; Morgan Freeman, Gary Sinise and Willie Nelson co-star . . . Dutch artist Johannes Vermeer (Colin Firth) discovers his muse in a young maid (Scarlett Johansson) in the interesting period drama GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING, already in limited release elsewhere . . . Six teenagers (including Swimfan‘s Erika Christensen), objecting to the role of the SATs in student placement, attempt to sabotage the system at their high school in the long-delayed THE PERFECT SCORE . . . Various real-life musicians, including members of IMX and B2K, headline YOU GOT SERVED, a look into the world of street dancing.
FEBRUARY 6: BARBERSHOP 2, a sequel to the $75 million hit from 2002, finds most of the original cast (including Ice Cube and scene-stealing Cedric the Entertainer) returning for another go-round of spirited discussions at the community mainstay . . . In order to raise funds for an ailing parent, three teens decide to rob a bank in CATCH THAT KID . . . The true story of the 1980 US Olympic hockey team that improbably beat the Soviet squad is recounted in MIRACLE, starring Kurt Russell as the team’s coach and The Station Agent‘s Patricia Clarkson as his wife . . . Finding Nemo earned plenty of kudos last year, but an even better animated feature from 2003 is THE TRIPLETS OF BELLEVILLE (presently in limited release), a bizarre French import about an elderly woman who teams up with three has-been singers to rescue her cyclist son from mobsters.
FEBRUARY 13: Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore were so likable together in The Wedding Singer that they’ve finally been re-teamed for 50 FIRST DATES, in which a veterinarian meets the woman of his dreams, only to learn that her short-term memory loss means that she doesn’t remember him after each encounter.
FEBRUARY 20: In the Cut didn’t revitalize her career as she had hoped, so Meg Ryan tries again with AGAINST THE ROPES, the story (loosely based on fact) of a female boxing manager and her relationship with a promising fighter (Omar Epps) . . . From some of the people who brought us Road Trip (moan) and The Cat In the Hat (groan) comes the comedy EUROTRIP, about an American dweeb (Scott Mechlowicz) who, after learning that his longtime German pen pal (Jessica Bohrs) is a girl and not a male as he had long assumed (moan and groan), embarks on an international jaunt to meet her in the flesh . . . With Vol. 1 fading fast after a strong opening, Quentin Tarantino doubtless hopes enough people have remained interested to make KILL BILL VOL. 2 a resounding success. Uma Thurman stars as the vengeance-seeking bride, with David Carradine (as Bill) guaranteed to rack up more screen time than he did in the first half.
FEBRUARY 25: Having already been screened endlessly for religious leaders yet still likely to stir up protests, Mel Gibson’s THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST might equal Martin Scorsese’s The Last Temptation of Christ as the most controversial religious film ever made. The Count of Monte Cristo‘s Jim Cavaziel, who was struck by lightning during the filming, plays the Son of God, with Irreversible‘s rape victim Monica Bellucci cast as Mary Magdalene.
FEBRUARY 27: Broken Lizard, the outfit behind Super Troopers, returns with CLUB DREAD, a comedy about an island resort plagued by a string of murders . . . There’s no Patrick Swayze warbling, no Catskills setting, and no putting Baby in the corner; instead, DIRTY DANCING: HAVANA NIGHTS centers on an American girl (Romola Garai) who falls for a Cuban dancer (Y Tu Mama Tambien‘s Diego Luna) on the eve of Castro’s revolution . . . Ashley Judd, who could probably do thrillers in her sleep by now, plays a detective (and daughter of a serial killer) who becomes her own department’s chief suspect once her past lovers start getting murdered in TWISTED, co-starring Samuel L. Jackson and Andy Garcia.
MARCH 5: Hoping to test his post-Lord of the Rings clout, Viggo Mortensen headlines HIDALGO, the true tale of an American who takes his trusty steed Hidalgo to Saudi Arabia to compete in a grueling desert race . . . Following the success of Charlie’s Angels and presumably preceding a CHiPs flick, STARSKY & HUTCH emerges as the next 70s action show to garner big-screen attention. Frequent co-stars Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson play the detective duo, with Snoop Dogg cast as informant Huggy Bear.
MARCH 12: Although it didn’t blow the roof off the box office ($47 million), last year’s Agent Cody Banks has warranted a sequel via AGENT CODY BANKS 2: DESTINATION LONDON, with Malcolm In the Middle‘s Frankie Muniz returning as the pint-sized secret agent . . . An introverted teenager (Emile Hirsch) strikes up a relationship with his new neighbor — a former porn star (24‘s Elisha Cuthbert) — in THE GIRL NEXT DOOR . . . Julia Stiles (Mona Lisa Smile) plays a college student who falls for a Danish prince (Luke Mably) passing himself off as an exchange student in the romantic comedy THE PRINCE & ME . . . Writer-director David Mamet is at the helm of SPARTAN, in which a government agent (Val Kilmer) and his greenhorn partner (Antwone Fisher‘s Derek Luke) are assigned to track down a missing person and stumble across a white slavery ring.
MARCH 19: We didn’t need a remake of Psycho, and we probably don’t need a remake of DAWN OF THE DEAD, George Romero’s 1979 zombie extravaganza (and sequel to Night of the Living Dead) that over time has accumulated the sort of laudatory reviews usually reserved for lofty Oscar winners. This current version, directed by newcomer Zack Snyder, also centers on a band of humans holed up in a shopping mall . . . Being John Malkovich and Adaptation scripter Charlie Kaufman pens ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND, in which a former couple (Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet) turn to a scientist (Tom Wilkinson) to have their minds wiped clean of all memories of their strained relationship, with unpredictable results; Kirsten Dunst and Elijah “Frodo” Wood co-star . . . In the wake of Gigli, Kevin Smith’s JERSEY GIRL is no longer being promoted as a Ben Affleck-Jennifer Lopez flick but instead as an Affleck vehicle in which Lopez happens to appear in a small role. The title actually refers to the Affleck character’s precocious stepdaughter (Raquel Castro); Smith regulars Matt Damon, Jason Lee and George Carlin pop up in minor roles . . . After the resounding failure of Beyond Borders, Angelina Jolie hopes for better luck with TAKING LIVES, a thriller about an FBI profiler tracking down a serial killer who’s assuming the identities of his victims.
MARCH 26: It’d be hard to improve on the Ealing Studios classic The Ladykillers, but the Coens give it a shot with their own take, also titled THE LADYKILLERS. Tom Hanks (in Alec Guinness’ old role) heads the cast of this biting comedy in which the best-laid plans of a group of thieves are thoroughly unraveled by the elderly woman (Irma P. Hall) who rents them a room . . . SCOOBY-DOO 2: MONSTERS UNLEASHED finds Scooby and his human pals attempting to rid the town of Coolsville from various familiar ghouls being recreated by a “monster machine”; Alicia Silverstone and Peter Boyle join the original cast of the 2002 summer hit.
APRIL 2: ENVY, directed by Barry Levinson, promisingly pairs Ben Stiller with Jack Black in a dark comedy about a guy (Stiller) whose jealousy gets the best of him after his buddy (Black) invents a contraption that makes him an instant millionaire; Christopher Walken co-stars . . . The next comic book adaptation to hit the screen will be HELLBOY, directed by Guillermo del Toro (Mimic) and starring Ron Perlman (TV’s Beauty and the Beast) as a demon who’s created by the Nazis but evolves into a superhero . . . Disney’s HOME ON THE RANGE finds Cuba Gooding Jr., Judi Dench and others lending their vocals to this animated effort about animals attempting to save their farm . . . Fresh from their success with the Freaky Friday remake, director Mark S. Waters and star Lindsey Lohan reteam for MEAN GIRLS, a look at popular high school students.
APRIL 9: Held from a Christmas release, THE ALAMO recalls that tragic day in Texas history — no, not when George W. Bush left the Texas Rangers front office to run for higher office but rather when Davy Crockett (Billy Bob Thornton), Jim Bowie (Jason Patric) and other frontiersmen lost their lives protecting their fort against the Mexican army . . . A young woman (The Princess Diaries‘ Anne Hathaway) embarks on a journey to break an ancient curse in the fantasy tale ELLA ENCHANTED, also starring Eric Idle and Minnie Driver . . . Joe Don Baker, Bo Svenson and Brian Dennehy all played the part in the 70s; now, it’s The Rock’s turn to fill the shoes of Sheriff Buford Pusser (renamed Chris Vaughn for this version) in the latest take on WALKING TALL, the action saga about a man who tries to clean up the corruption in his hometown . . . THE WHOLE TEN YARDS, an ingeniously named sequel to The Whole Nine Yards, finds Bruce Willis’ hit man coming out of retirement to help Matthew Perry’s befuddled dentist rescue his wife (Natasha Henstridge) from the clutches of a Hungarian mob.
APRIL 16: Nia Vardalos, the guiding light behind My Big Fat Greek Wedding, scripts and co-stars with Toni Collette in CONNIE & CARLA, a comedy about two singers posing as drag queens. David Duchovny co-stars as (shades of Victor/Victoria) a guy who falls for one of the women while she’s posing as a man (got that?) . . . Nominated for the Best Foreign-Language Film Oscar a year ago, China’s HERO features an all-star cast of Asian actors (Jet Li, Zhang Ziyi, Donnie Yen, etc.) in an action-packed period tale from director Zhang Yimou (Raise the Red Lantern) . . . After screwing it up with a cheapo film version starring Dolph Lundgren, Marvel Comics hopes for better returns with a bigger-budgeted version of THE PUNISHER, their popular series about a former law enforcement officer (Thomas Jane) who goes the Death Wish route after his family is murdered; John Travolta heads the supporting cast.
APRIL 23: A remake of a forgotten 1987 film (with Scott Glenn), MAN ON FIRE casts Denzel Washington as a bodyguard who sets out to rescue the young girl (I Am Sam‘s Dakota Fanning) under his watch after she’s kidnapped; Christopher Walken and Mickey Rourke also star . . . An eclectic mix of young actors — Donnie Darko‘s Jena Malone, Welcome to the Dollhouse‘s Heather Matarazzo, Chasing Liberty‘s Mandy Moore, Almost Famous‘ Patrick Fugit and Home Alone‘s Macaulay Culkin — pack the cast of SAVED!, in which a popular high school girl (Malone) becomes a societal outcast after she gets pregnant . . . Based on a Stephen King story, SECRET WINDOW stars Johnny Depp as a successful writer who’s harassed by a stranger (John Turturro) accusing him of plagiarism.
APRIL 30: Jamie Foxx plays the successful author of a manual on how guys should dump their girlfriends in the romantic comedy BREAKIN’ ALL THE RULES . . . It feels like I first saw the preview for GODSEND during Clinton’s first term; at any rate, this thriller stars Robert DeNiro as a shady doctor who creates a clone of a couple’s (Greg Kinnear and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos) dead son, with Omen-ous results . . . Peter Howitt, director of the underrated spoof Johnny English, now tackles LAWS OF ATTRACTION, a romance about two divorce lawyers (Julianne Moore and Pierce Brosnan) who fall for each other.
NO DATE SET: Beads of controversy are already starting to form around the latest from Last Tango In Paris director Bernardo Bertolucci: THE DREAMERS centers on French siblings (Eva Green and Louis Garrel) who engage in sexual and psychological games with an American student (Michael Pitt) . . . Cedric the Entertainer and Vanessa Williams star in JOHNSON FAMILY VACATION, a comedy about a clan that bickers incessantly as they embark on a cross-country road trip . . . NED KELLY stars Heath Ledger as Australia’s 19th century hero-outlaw; he’s backed by a stellar cast that includes 21 Grams‘s Naomi Watts and Pirates of the Caribbean co-stars Orlando Bloom and Geoffrey Rush . . . In the comedy WELCOME TO MOOSEPORT, the former US President’s (Gene Hackman) attempt to become a small town’s new mayor receives unexpected competition when the local plumber (Ray Romano) decides to run against him.
This article appears in Jan 14-20, 2004.
