Quit Needling Me: A man walked out of a local department store carrying a basket full of baby formula without paying. When store managers approached the baby food bandit outside, he said he had AIDS, and threatened to stab the managers with a syringe. He then hopped into a nearby car and drove away, baby formula in tow.
Respect Your Elders: An 81-year-old man was apparently swindled when he paid some young whippersnapper $200 to perform yard work prior to the work being done — never a good idea. After the old timer handed over the cash, the punk hired for the job simply walked away, leaving the old man with his wallet lighter, shrubs untrimmed and grass uncut.
The Cookout Has Been Cancelled: A local store owner called police after he saw a suspicious looking gent make a quit exit from his store with a bulging backpack slung around his shoulder. Police soon caught up with the man walking down the street, and upon inspecting his backpack, discovered the stolen goods — four steaks, valued at $36.45.
Parking Lot Derby: While driving around in a department store parking lot in plain sight of security officers, an intoxicated knucklehead struck two parked cars, causing an estimated $3,000 damage. The future Ivy Leaguer was ultimately arrested for DWI, hit and run and driving without an operator’s license.
Do I Smell Insurance Fraud?: Police were summoned to a department store after a woman reported that she slipped and fell on liquid while walking down one of the store’s aisles. The woman refused medical assistance, and stated the liquid had no odor or smell to it. The reporting officer noted there was no liquid of any type on the floor upon his arrival. Allegedly there was much eye-rolling at the scene.
Cat Fight: A woman reported being punched in the face and pushed against the wall by her live-in boyfriend. When the battered woman went to call police, the jerk grabbed the phone away from her. As if he hadn’t already proven he was a world-class asshole, the man then proceeded to kill the woman’s cat. Somebody please give this guy the straitjacket and ass-kicking he so desperately needs.
Fool Me Once..: A man paid a contractor $1,000 to do work on his house. In return, the contractor did nothing. In reporting the crime to the police, the man explained that this had happened numerous times before and the lazy laborer continued to give excuses for not starting.
Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.
This article appears in Jun 23-29, 2004.
