Power, pu$$y and green balloons

And while everyone was focused on Tiger Woods having sex with a bunch of cocktail waitresses, yet another politician has gotten caught up in a sex scandal.

Rod Jetton, a Republican from Missouri, is taking a step back from politics to deal with an assault charge involving a woman who is not his wife.

Former House Speaker Rod Jetton sent an aftershock through Missouri’s political terrain Tuesday, saying he will close his political consulting firm to fight a felony charge that he assaulted a Sikeston woman.

Jetton “will be leaving politics to deal with false allegations and spend time with his family,” said his attorney, Stephen Wilson, in a written statement. “He is confident that when the facts of this case are heard, he will be found innocent.”

Formed in 2004, the same year Jetton was elected speaker, Jetton and Associates eventually became one of the go-to GOP political shops in the state because of his connections in the General Assembly.

“He had a meteoric rise,” Missouri State University political scientist George Connor said Tuesday. “Should these allegations prove to be true, then he’ll have an equally meteoric fall.”

The Frisky gives this account of what happened:

A woman is claiming that he drugged her and then beat her up during sex, and he has been charged with a felony. Here’s the gist of what the woman claims happened: Jetton came over to her place on Nov. 15 with two bottles of wine in hand for a night of wild sex—they’d agreed beforehand to use the safe word “green balloons” if either of them was feeling uncomfortable. Things started out tame. He poured her a glass in the kitchen and then sat down with her to watch a football game. She noticed herself feeling hazy and felt like she was nodding off. Next thing she knew, she was on the floor and Jetton was allegedly choking her. She says he then hit her so hard she lost consciousness. He apparently stayed over and was all tender to her in the morning. “You should have said green balloons,” she quotes him as saying.

Why do women give up the pussy to married men in positions of power and expect that nothing bad will happen? Power is intoxicating and a huge turn on — but ladies, have some self-respect. From John Edwards, to Eliot Spitzer and Mark Sanford, women have gotten it on with them and outside of Spitzer — who at least had the good sense to pay for sex — these women got involved with married men and for what?

Did Maria in South America think S.C. governor Sanford was really going to leave his rich wife and live with her? Just because his e-mails sounded like a love-struck hippy, Sanford knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

Did Rielle Hunter think Edwards was going to leave wife, who is battling cancer, so that they could go get $400 haircuts together? Seriously, as stupid as these men are, the women aren’t much smarter.

The real power isn’t in the politician, but in that woman’s panties. He’ll do anything to get your pussy — but there is no law saying you have to give it to him.

And please, if you’re into S&M, make your safe word better than “green balloons.”

This article appears in Dec 8-14, 2009.