By Matt Brunson
BURLESQUE
DIRECTED BY Steve Antin
STARS Cher, Christina Aguilera
Surely no one out there really believes that tired line about film critics wanting to hate whatever pictures they catch on the job? On the contrary, like everyone else, reviewers want to be entertained, enchanted and even educated for those two hours in the dark. Admittedly, though, there’s that occasional rare flick that — whether through plot, casting, trailer, what-have-you — looks so awful that a deliriously bad time seems assured.
Sight unseen, that initially appeared to be the case with Burlesque. Let’s examine the evidence, shall we? An aging entertainer returning to the screen after being away for years. (Think Mae West in the ghastly Myra Breckinridge.) A pop sensation in her first major big-screen role. (Think Mariah Carey in the abysmal Glitter.) A musical milieu that has been the site of some enduring camp classics. (Think Showgirls, Staying Alive, etc.) Alas, in the case of Burlesque, ’tis not meant to be. Certainly, the film contains some risible moments, but nothing wretched enough to plunge it into the bowels of bad cinema. Ultimately, it’s too competently made to be a genuine stinker yet too indebted to hoary show biz clichés to come close to succeeding. It’s punishingly overlong (even at just under two hours), yet it does provide some flashes of entertainment bang for the matinee-price buck. For what it’s worth, it’s probably the best 2-star movie of 2010 — and if that’s a prime example of damning with faint praise, it’s nevertheless the best I can muster.
Cher, her face as immobile as a kabuki mask (and far less expressive), receives top billing but actually plays second fiddle to Christina Aguilera; the latter is just OK as Ali, who leaves her podunk Iowa town in the hopes of making it in LA. It’s not long before she stumbles across an intriguing nightclub called Burlesque. “Is this a strip club?” she asks the doorman (Alan Cumming), whose reply (“I should wash your mouth out with Jagermeister!”) represents, for better or worse, the script’s best line. From there, everything proceeds according to formulaic plan: She snags a job at the joint waiting tables, wins the grudging respect of club owner Tess (Cher) and Tess’ gay BFF (film MVP Stanley Tucci), lands a hottie boyfriend (Cam Gigandet), clashes with the venue’s bitchy star (a miscast Kristen Bell, whose vamp is about as toothless as a newborn baby), and — you go, girl! — gets that big break that turns her into an overnight sensation. About the only thing missing is someone barking, “You’re going out a youngster, but you’ve got to come back a star!” … although I can’t guarantee that wasn’t in an earlier draft of the script.
This article appears in Nov 23-29, 2010.
Poor Matt, obviously jealousy rears its ugly head when a star like Cher could get more attention spitting then your reviews.
This was an awesome movie!! I would rate it as a 5 star movie for sure!!! So Matt what your saying is Steve Antin had no idea what he was doing and you think that you can make a better movie huh! I’m sorry I don’t recall any movie you have wrote or directed! 🙂
What is the matter with critics being such elitis snobs? And why are they always trying to dig out some deeper meaning underneath a fun movie? As superficial as it may be, what is wrong with a “a small-town girl goes to the big city and finds success,” plot line? Burlesque is obviously not out to impress the snobby critics, but to entertain the audience, and what is soooo wrong with that? It is unique and different, not the usual high-impact violent blockbusters, or the cliche’d sexual-inuendos-type comedies that only serve re-hashed plot lines in a different format, both of which I would not take my children to see. I went to see the latest Harry Potter, but in contrast to the first 2, this one should be named: “Scary Harry.” I feel that Burlesque is on par with both Moulin Rouge and Chicago, and I loved both, but is should be noted that although Chicago received 5 Academy Awards, it began with adultery and murder, and finished with both murdesses getting off scott-free and being heroeines at the end.
I loved Burlesque, everyone I know loves it or is going to see it, and I noted that all the websites I have visited have the audience ranking the movie well, vs a lot of snobby critics who didnt…And that, I have noted over the years has happened a lot..
I saw this movie myself, and it was a fun movie. It was, however, not a *good* movie. Entertaining movies and good movies don’t automatically go hand in hand. Just like entertaining books (Think, Twilight) can’t compare with good books (Think, Great Gatsby). Are people going to be watching this movie ten years from now? Probably not. Are they going to go out and have fun one evening and see it? Sure.
Personally, I think it didn’t have much conflict, so it’s not the best of plots. But it sure had some great dance numbers, which is really the only reason people will see it anyway :/
Big Mammas House of Burlesque is Based in Charlotte NC and is North Carolinas First and Longest running Award winning classic Vaudeville and Burlesque show.
You want to see the real stuff?
Come on over to Mammas House!
Dec 4th – 5th Annual Merry Stripmas Show @ Visulite Theatre, Charlotte
TIX on Sale at Visulite.com
Ages 18 and up!