Mayfield, meth and a bitch stepmom: That’s racin’!

The controversy over NASCAR driver Jeremy Mayfield’s alleged crystal meth use is priceless. Personally, I don’t know, and honestly don’t care, whether Mayfield is a meth head, although I can see how other drivers might object. I mean, meth isn’t exactly Red Bull, or even Adderall, which is widely believed to be NASCAR drivers’ stimulant of choice. But now the Mayfield controversy is getting hot and heavy enough to qualify as entertainment, with comments and denials that sound like something from Tobacco Road by Erskine Caldwell, or a Tarantino remake of The Beverly Hillbillies.

NASCAR says Mayfield tested positive for meth a second time, and Mayfield says, “Nuh-uh,” and claims the test was flawed. Meanwhile, everyone working for Mayfield Motorsports has left, and Mayfield’s stepmother Lisa says the driver is so deep into meth, he used to cook it up himself until pseudoephedrine was taken off the shelves, at which point, she says, Mayfield began buying his meth retail. Mayfield has answered back by saying is stepmother has “tried everything she can do to get money out of me,” but, “They picked the wrong woman to use against me because that (expletive) [“bitch,” probably] is trash and has got nothing on me.”

We’re enjoying the low-rent feud, but we’re reserving judgment on Mayfield’s meth use until the issue is resolved. What makes us suspicious, however, is this “Meth Mouth” jack-o-lantern on Mayfield’s doorstep last Halloween. [Note to attorneys: this is satire only, so relax for God’s sake].

This article appears in Jul 14-21, 2009.