Sanford hikes but doesn’t walk the walk

South Carolina governor Mark Sanford, who was reported missing yesterday but was found hiking part of the Appalachian Trail, missed Father’s Day during his hike. Our guess is that he didn’t want to miss out on another important celebration also taking place on June 21 — national Naked Hiking Day. If by some chance Sanford is reading this blog item, we’re kidding, guv. You see, irony isn’t one of Sanford’s strong suits, and that’s the understatement of the year. In fact, he’s as literal-minded and tunnel-visioned a thinker as we’ve seen in American politics in decades, exemplified by his stubborn battle to refuse federal stimulus money for his beleaguered state. And there’s even more irony to enjoy at Sanford’s expense: the Appalachian Trail, where da guv has been spending time ostensibly clearing his head after being smacked around by his own party in the state legislature, is set to receive $650 million in — you guessed it — federal stimulus funds. The Trail will be “enhanced,” which means some portions of the trail will be refurbished or even moved, using part of the federal money from Obama’s socialist plot to wreck the country and enslave us all, as Sanford himself might put it.

This article appears in Jun 23-30, 2009.