Thursday, July 14, 2011

Warning: A foot rub may cause you to get pregnant

Posted By on Thu, Jul 14, 2011 at 1:41 PM

Getting a foot rub is perhaps the greatest organic aphrodisiac. I pay people to do reflexology just so I can get a foot rub.

I was actually getting reflexology the other day at Massage Envy in Huntersville when I asked her to massage my ovaries via the nerve ending in my feet, to offset the inevitable incoming period cramps. She said she had to be careful around my feet because certain trigger points on your feet can make you fertile.

I yanked my feet away dramatically.

click to enlarge Larg1_15_2011Fertility-Massage

"How in the hell can you make me get pregnant by rubbing my feet?" I asked her frightened, and curious.

Turns out there is an actual fertility massage.

"That's OK ... scratch that. How about a lower back and glute massage instead?" I would rather endure the most painful of massage treatments rather than increase my chances of getting pregnant. But that's just me. There are a lot of women who, unlike me, are good candidates for reproducing, and are trying to.

So they should call Julie Snow at Massage Envy Huntersville.

She uses accu-pressure points like reflexology on your ovaries around the ankle bones and fallopian tubes around the top surface of the foot. "Massaging those stimulates those organs and their functions," Julie educated me. "It helps women ovulate."

She also uses primrose oil on the feet and a Castrol oil pack on the stomach and pelvic bones that "get the ovaries working harder," as she put it.

Based on success rate of her clients, two to three sessions will knock you up. She's like the baby-making witch doctor — she’s been practicing and knocking people up for 14 years.

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