Stay Away from my Grandma!: Desperate and lonely, a man longing to see his ex-girlfriend who had filed a restraining order against him, turned to his last option: a grandma. The man told his ex’s grandma all about the separation and how he was wronged in hopes that granny would call her granddaughter and go to bat for him. The woman stated that her crazy ex-boyfriend never had met her grandma. Apparently there was a no Granny seeking statute of the restraining order because his actions were in breech of section 50B.
A Hairy proposition: Two crimes at hair salons were reported on Monday. An office manager with access to the company’s bank account and credit cards embezzled over $40,000. But the more serious hair salon crime occurred at another location. A wig of human hair valued at $75.00 was stolen from a mannequin head.
Not Cool: Twenty no parking signs disappeared from a neighborhood overnight. It’s a crime to steal signs but unfortunately no governing organization exists to stop the spread of cliched room decorations.
Is that a bag of candy or are you just happy to see me?: A cashier noticed a peculiar bulge in a customer’s pants. The man was stopped just past the register and was forced to reveal the contents of the bulge. A bag of Reisen candy was pulled from his pants. It was not unconfirmed if the man was stuffing or if he just wanted the hard candy treats. The man was also seen eating a small serving of Yoplait yogurt in the store. The flavor was not included in the report.
Ransackology: 18 pairs of Gaucho pants were stolen from an Anthropology store. The joke is on the vandal because with winter approaching they are going to have some chilly calves. Also taken were 14 shirts and 15 pairs of jeans totaling a tab of $4,514.00 in overpriced value. It is not believed that South American cattle herders have turned to piracy in order to take back their native britches.
SARAN-WHAP!: A woman drove a friend to work. Once they arrived, the woman got in an argument with her friend’s employer. The verbal disagreement escalated when the employer decided to turn a roll of plastic wrap into a weapon, striking the driver repeatedly in the arms and legs.
Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.
This article appears in Nov 30 – Dec 6, 2005.
