Monday, January 28, 2008

Oh, to be a derby girl

Posted By on Mon, Jan 28, 2008 at 3:36 PM

I want to be a Charlotte Roller Girl.


While watching their inaugural bout against the Columbia Quad Squad last night at Cricket Arena, I could barely contain my excitement. I want to skate stealthily around a tight track like I know what I’m doing. I want a great sarcastic nickname. I want to be aggressive and push my opponents down, all in the name of roller derby.


I want to don purple stockings with holes in them. I want to wear a super short skirt, exposing underwear that reads “It Ain’t Gonna Lick Itself” on my ass and be called sexy.

Wait. You want to hear about the bout, don’t you.

I’m not sure if anyone expected it, but roller derby fever contaminated Charlotte last night. With seating only on one side of the arena, the stands were filled all the way to the top, with more people watching from the sidelines (attendance was approximately 2,100 people).


Although CRG lost with a score of 87-78, they put up a good fight.


Number 6 Rosie Cheeks and Number 777 Ducky Long Stockings (yes, these are real people) were probably the two best jammers for us, but they were no match for Holly Hunter, number 9 from Columbia, who simply could not be touched by our blockers.


(Holly Hunter in the red helmet)

Their trophy (a roller derby Barbie) was not so easily won though; one girl popped her shoulder out of joint (and jumped right back into the game after she popped it back into place).

Some other interesting things you missed from last night?

- RenElvis performed during the halftime show

- Someone got the bright idea during a break to let the kids run around the track like a herd of animals (and one kid doing so with his shirt pulled over his head)

- And the old guy with the heelys. (You know, the shoes with the wheels that normally kids wear? Come on, dude. You’re a little old for heelys, aren’t you?)

I’m not making this stuff up, I promise. Visit to learn more about the CRG, roller derby or maybe even to inquire about joining the team. I bruise easily, but I’m considering it.

(photos by Jeff Hahne)

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