Memorial Day is the first holiday of the summer and the first time in a long time that we’ve had a paid weekend off. Unless you work for CMS, sorry, but you have to make up that March snow day on Monday.
For the rest of us, we have three days and nights to fill with something. Why not some hot sex? Let Memorial Day weekend be the time you try all that freaky shit you’ve seen on Red Tube.
Before you do, make sure you stock up on lubes. If you can’t get to one of the many adult stores in town, like The Red Door or Adam and Eve, hit you local Wal-Mart and get a box of KY Yours and Mine.
Use as much as you want of this product and rub it every where you want him or her to blow, kiss or lick.
It’s likely that some of your friends and family will be having a party this weekend. Make sure you get some ice for later. If it’s really hot this weekend, your partner will enjoy an icy addition to oral sex. That way you can heat him or her up and cool her or him down at the same time. Don’t forget dessert; you know Auntie’s cake tastes even better when you eat it off your lover.
Now, what I’m about to suggest could lead to your arrest, but you have to get caught first. (Wink — and we all know that’s part of the fun.)
Meet your mate at a park and role play, but take some Deep Woods Off so that the bugs won’t feast on you while you two get it on. Also, just to be kind to the next person who will sit on that bench, put something underneath you. No one wants to sit in dried sex fluids.
When you get home from all of your activities this weekend, be sure to take a bath or a shower with your mate. If you wash his or her back, I’m sure you’ll get licked — er– washed in return.
This article appears in May 19-26, 2009.
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