Gloom With A View
I’m 36 and my fiancee is 37. We’ve had a great sex life — until recently. She began taking Prozac for depression, and it’s drastically reduced her sex drive. We hardly have sex anymore (maybe once on weekends, never during the week). I’m sensitive to her needs, offering anything to get her in the mood, but she always refuses. She tells me sexually explicit stories about her pre-Prozac days, and I listen with fascination, disbelief, envy, frustration, and finally, anger. What upsets me most is that she doesn’t mind the lack of sex, and says she’d willingly take Prozac for the rest of her life.–Sedating Woes
Some women like sex in the morning, some like it in the afternoon, and some like it in the past. Although your fiancee seems poised to reconnect with her virginity after marriage, she is kind enough, these days, to keep sex with you a priority … right up there with dusting the mini-blinds, installing a new blue-flush thingie, and other weekend chores.
In the future, even if a hot evening with her is a night that ends in a really wild handshake, you’ll still have the memories — of her and all those other guys. How thoughtful of her to keep you so well informed. It’s possible she wants to reassure you (and maybe herself, too) that, she’s really quite the animal in bed — just one who happens to be in hibernation until further notice. Then again, maybe she’s just cruel, hostile, and violently tacky.
Her first step, assuming you can persuade her to care enough to take it, is trotting to the psychiatrist’s office to chat about those sexual side effects. Of course, what works for your fiancee is between her and her shrink. Sadly, her efforts to convince you that “Woman Snoring” is a little-known position from the Kama Sutra don’t seem to be doing the trick.
Copyright 2003, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com)
This article appears in Oct 29 – Nov 4, 2003.
