President Bush came to town last week and successfully helped raise funds for Liddy Dole’s US Senate campaign. Members of the local mainstream media, particularly TV newscasters, were beside themselves with a breathless, twitching brand of excitement. In short order, they dropped any pretense of being actual news organizations in a blare of “goll-lee” overkill that resembled something out of Mayberry. For instance, TV shows were interrupted in order to give viewers a look at Bush’s limo rolling up the parkway from the airport. Now that’s thrilling television! And don’t even mention the brilliant political analysis (“Yes, the President seems to be obeying the speed limit.”)
Crusty Graham cracker Newly released tapes from the Nixon White House revealed Rev. Billy Graham agreeing with Nixon’s disparaging remarks about Jews. Graham also told Nixon he believed Jews had “a stranglehold” on the media and that “if you get elected a second time, then we might be able to do something.” He had Jewish friends, said Graham, but “they don’t know how I really feel about what they’re doing to this country.” Graham apologized for the remarks the day after they were revealed. Not wanting to offend a hometown hero, Mayor Fratboy announced early this week that from now on, all cars driven by Jews on Billy Graham Parkway must have a yellow Star of David decal on their windshield.
That’ll teach you punks about law and order! Prosecutors dropped charges against three former bouncers at the now-defunct Baha Club who had been charged with first-degree murder in the asphyxiation death of an Ecstasy-addled naked guy. The prosecutors said they didn’t have enough evidence to pursue the first-degree murder charge. Why the charges weren’t changed to involuntary manslaughter and pursued remained a mystery.
OK, who in this room wants to lose a few million? More endless speculation made the rounds of the city about a possible team of investors who are supposedly interested in buying the money-losing, who-cares-anymore Hornets. Is it for real? Is it too late? Blah blah blah blah. Ya-a-a-w-w-n.
B.S. Quote of the Week “Even not getting your choice, you’re going to a decent school.” — School Board Chairman Arthur Griffin, offering understanding and heartfelt advice to those parents who just possibly may be a wee bit upset that their child won’t be able to attend their first, second, or even third choices of schools.
This article appears in Mar 6-12, 2002.
