Perhaps the impending rise of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s own political machine was the reason President Bush elevated his War on Terror rhetoric to Code Orange levels at a July 2 White House news conference.
When commenting on continued hit-and-run attacks against US personnel in Iraq, President Terminator declared, “There are some who feel like that, you know, the conditions are such that they can attack us there. My answer is “bring them on.’ We got the force necessary to deal with the security situation.”
As he was leaving the conference, W turned to an aide and giggled, “I almost said, “Do you feel lucky, punk?’ — you know, that Clint Eastwood thing? I bet that-a scared “em. Or how about, “We will grill their stomachs on the gates of Hell’? Damn, wish I’d thought of that before the, the, uhh, you know, the meeting we just had, what’s that thing?. . .the press conference.”
Within hours of having “Kick me hard” signs added to the backs of their uniforms, eight US soldiers were wounded in three separate Iraqi attacks, at which point Bush quickly ran back to the Rose Garden and double-dared the assailants to “meet me behind the soccer field after school.”
“We got plenty tough force there right now to make sure the situation is secure,” Bush eloquently summarized, even though Paul Bremer, the chief civil administrator in Iraq, contends that 50,000 additional troops are needed.
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld refuted Bremer’s assessment at a press conference during which Bush suddenly ran onstage and taunted Iraqi guerilla fighters, exclaiming, “I triple-dog-dare you to knock this tax cut off my shoulder!”
Rumors floated around DC last week that a telltale receipt of some sort had been discovered in the Rose Garden, although details were skimpy. We have learned, however, that the crumpled receipt, which had apparently fallen out of W’s pants pocket, was from the Alexandria, VA, Wal-Mart, and may be the best indication that Bush’s remarks are an attempt to preserve his stature as the nation’s alpha action figure. The receipt documented the purchase of some green face paint, a pair of purple stretch pants (men’s size large), and toy Hulk Hands with Electronic Sound Effects. The receipt had the words “W smash!” scribbled on the back.
This article appears in Jul 9-15, 2003.
