Dear Karma Cleanser:
I live in a house with four roommates (college situation). We are all good friends even though there has been some drama in the past. Two of the housemates used to date, but they are both seeing other people now. We are all one big happy family — or so I thought. We have a policy about food in the house that says you can eat anything that’s in the kitchen so long as you replace it. This has worked out OK until one of the roommates started complaining that his food is being eaten and no one replaces it. No one took responsibility, so this person set up a hidden Web cam on top of the cabinets. He found out who was eating his food, but he also caught on video the other two roommates making out and doing a lot of other crazy shit. And these are not the two who used to date!
Now he’s pissed and says he wants to move out. I think he just got what he deserved for spying on the people in the house (including myself) without us knowing it. Am I right?
—— Four Bedroom, Wisteria Lane
You’re right, but with a few qualifications. First, aren’t you at all freaked that some guy was secretly watching your every move? We’re guessing he set up the cam partly because he suspected the goings on between his ex and the housemate. Second, you seem strangely unfazed by the revelations of the surveillance. Sounds to us like you should be seriously freaked that you live in a house that’s turning out to be so shady.
Dear Karma Cleanser:
For almost a year I’ve lived my girlfriend. Things are good. She’s a keeper. We enjoy our time together. Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about my ex-girlfriend — wondering a lot about what might have happened if we had stayed together. My current girlfriend has no idea. I don’t want to tell her. They’ve never met. I talk to her, the ex, on the phone maybe once a month. We never see each other.
Is my karma messed up for this? Will thoughts about someone else on my part cause her to start to have similar thoughts about other guys? I don’t want to get back with my ex. Should I tell her what’s going on?
—— Eyes Wide Shut
Is there anything to gain by telling your girlfriend about your thoughts, other than clearing your own conscience? At the same time, she’s probably wondering why you seem so distracted lately — which is enough to make her own attention drift toward guys who don’t get a glazed over look every time she’s around. Don’t focus so much on whether or not it’s the ex you want to be with. Figure out if you’re just wasting time with the current.
Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com.
This article appears in Jul 12-18, 2006.
