Dear Karma Cleanser:
I have a friend who is smart, beautiful and fabulous. Except for one thing: her boyfriend. At first he was tolerable, but then it got to a point where I couldn’t stand to be near him because he is so obnoxious. He gets drunk and publicly berates my friend. He’s completely rude and borderline abusive. I nearly asked her to stop bringing him around, but then they became engaged and I didn’t think I should say anything. We didn’t see each other for quite a while, but we recently started hanging out again. He has continued with the same behavior in spite of the engagement, yelling and cursing at her in public. She thinks he’s “the one” and that he’s perfect for her but the truth is that she could do much, much better.
Should I say something to her and risk the friendship? Or should I take the bad with the good and ignore his potentially abusive behavior? Does it make a difference that I met her through her boyfriend (as in, I didn’t know her before she was with him)?
—— Watching and Waiting
Suppose it was your good friend who hated your boyfriend’s guts. Would you want her to say something or keep her big trap shut? Would it matter how you met? It sounds like you already limited your interactions with this drama couple once before; if his jerk-face behavior continues, clearly it’s time to cut back again.
Dear Karma Cleanser:
I live in a house with two housemates. One of them is a neat freak, who yells at me if I leave the common areas untidy. I’ll admit, I’m a little bit of a slouch when it comes to tidying up. Last night the house ordered pizza. I was the last one awake after everyone went to bed, but I forgot to put all the extra pizza away.
This morning I saw one whole pizza had stayed out all night on the living room table. I knew my roommate would be pissed. I quickly boxed it up and put it in the fridge.
Tonight when I got home, my housemate and his girlfriend were in their bedroom eating the pizza! I immediately felt bad. It was pepperoni and spinach that sat out all night. If they get sick from E. coli or something worse, am I to blame?
—— E-Malady
If day-old pizza killed everyone who ate it, the world would be bereft of college students. Your karma is fine — just don’t try the same trick with the fried chicken!
Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com.
This article appears in Oct 11-17, 2006.
