Dear Karma Cleanser:
My mother was one of the strictest parents you’d ever meet. She didn’t allow me to date or wear makeup. I felt like I was in prison, and my father was a distant workaholic who never said a word to her.
After my father left, my mother went back to work and paid for my and my brother’s college tuition on her own. I was an ungrateful little brat still upset about the way she’d treated me. We didn’t have much to say to each other when we spoke, which became less and less often. After college, I quickly moved far away from the coastal town where she lived.
Now I’m in my 40s and a mother myself. Meanwhile, my mother has gotten to the point where she can’t live alone and my brother won’t take her in. Soon, she’s going to have to come live with me in a house that she’s admitted that she hates. I want to tell her that this is just karma coming back on her for the way she treated me. When she does come, I want to do exactly the same things to her, but I know that’s probably bad for my own karma in the long run.
— Mrs. Brady’s Revenge
Perhaps you should read Flannery O’Connor’s short story, “Everything that Rises Must Converge.” It involves a grumbling son who wants to teach his aged mother a lesson about her boorish behavior. But when that lesson unexpectedly arrives in a brutal and irreversible climax, the son is filled with regret. It’s a case of be careful of what you ask for, and also says plenty about taking mercy on those who may have wronged us.
Dear Karma Cleanser:
My boyfriend might be addicted to porn. He says it’s a natural thing that all guys do and I should just let him have some space.
I knew that he liked to look at that kind of stuff on the Internet. He admitted to that very soon after we started dating. One day when he was at work, I broke into his computer and found his hidden collection of images. I was also surprised by how much of it he has saved on his computer.
I confronted him about it, and he got very mad at me. He said I’m not allowed to go near his computer again. I’m considering ending the relationship because of this. I’ve never actually seen him look at the porn, and he’s also been a very good boyfriend. But it bothers me that it’s there, and that’s enough, right?
— Rated Ex
Imagine if you’d cracked open your partner’s hard drive and instead discovered a vast cache of bunny rabbits: thousands of images of Thumper and Buggs, Ricochet and Roger. You’d feel pretty guilty for invading his privacy. So why should his smut library be any different? If the bunnies aren’t hopping on your relationship, it’s best to let the sleeping rabbits lie.
Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com.
This article appears in Feb 28 – Mar 6, 2007.
