Dear Karma Cleanser:
I have bad luck when it comes to haircuts. I’ve not only had my ear nipped by scissors during a haircut, I’ve also had a stylist literally quit her job during my appointment. (She’d been arguing with her boss the whole morning, apparently.)
Knowing my luck, I always go into hair appointments expecting the worst thing to happen. I had found a stylist who seemed to understand that the Fates were out to get me when it came time to get my bangs trimmed up. Recently, I found myself in an emergency situation and had to make an appointment with one of his co-workers because his calendar was booked on my only free day. Sure enough, tragedy struck. I was sitting in the barber’s chair with my hair halfway done when the power went off. The whole place went dark. Some construction workers outside the salon had accidentally killed the power for the whole block.
And so, my poor stylist had to finish my haircut by candlelight. To make matters worse, my regular guy happened to walk by and he gave me a look that made me think I was “cheating” on him.
I realize this makes for a funny story, but it’s not so much fun for me to have to walk around looking like my head got caught in a blender. What did I do to deserve this?
— Curl Up and Dye
We’re paraphrasing Einstein when we say that your problem can’t be solved at the same level of thinking with which you created it. You’ve started to see yourself as a person who has “hair issues,” and the universe responds by giving you just what you expect: hair issues. You can break the cycle by taking a more metaphysical approach to personal grooming. What does your hair really mean to you? Is hair the same as self worth; is it a synonym for acceptance? Until you come to comprehend how your hair both reveals and obscures your true essence, your ‘do will remain a don’t.
Dear Karma Cleanser:
(In response to “Fireman in a Blender,” Jan. 9): I have been reading the Karma Cleanser for a long time now, and I don’t think you have ever mentioned Oprah’s name before in one of your answers. I am sad to see Ms. Winfrey mentioned in such a flip and offhand manner. The work she has done worldwide is unparalleled. Even if you do not believe in her life philosophy, you should not make light of her.
— O is for Off-Limits
Hold up, when did we make fun of Oprah? Our original response was nothing if not glowing. Besides, we know better than to tangle with Harpo Inc. They got eyes everywhere!
Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com.
This article appears in Jan 23-29, 2008.
