Dear Karma Cleanser: One of my girlfriend’s friends is having an affair with a married man. The girl is 19 and the guy is in his early 30s. We, my girlfriend and I, are friends with both of them. I have talked to them both about the affair and they see no problem with what they are doing. I love my girlfriend very much and would never pick her friends for her, but I would feel a lot better if she stayed away from these two. My girlfriend says what they are doing is wrong, but I still don’t want her around them. For that matter, I don’t want to be around them. To show my disdain for the situation, I’ve started calling the girl by the guy’s wife’s name. Several people have asked me what’s going on and I keep telling them nothing that I know of. But I’m tired of lying for them. I don’t want my girlfriend around either of them. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Should I keep on lying to cover up for them? – Anti-Adulterer
The Karma Cleanser strongly believes that your so-called “gut” reaction is worth listening to. In this case, your conscience is telling you that you think what you’re seeing is wrong. Rather than trying to dictate who your girlfriend hangs out with, focus instead on yourself. There’s no need to lie about your feelings, but drop the passive-aggressive name game and politely excuse yourself from the situation.Dear Karma Cleanser:
We read your column every week and usually have a laugh or two over the crazy stuff people do. But I’ll have to say that you gave really shitty advice to “Bad Vibes,” (February 6), the woman who said she sends out a bad aura and always has had bad luck. Some people are born to suck. They just have to get used to it. – The Vibe Master
Interesting insight, TVM. We suspect that you’ve proven your own point.
This article appears in Feb 28 – Mar 6, 2002.
