Dear Karma Cleanser:
I’ve recently experienced some of the most mind-blowing sex of my life — with completely the wrong person.
For two years, I’ve been seeing the same guy, “Ron.” His fraternity brother, “Danny,” hangs out with us, about half the time we see each other, usually bringing along some stupid sorority bimbo to our date nights out.
A few weeks back, while Ron was out of town on a business trip, Danny came over to watch the game at my place because he doesn’t have cable. Unfortunately, the electricity went out at my house that night, which left us in the dark drinking beers together. Sure enough, several beers later, neither of us noticed that the lights had come back on.
Now I feel terrible. I didn’t mean to cheat on Ron. It just sorta happened. Now Danny acts like he’s uncomfortable around me, and wants to tell Ron what happened. Meanwhile, I can’t stop thinking about what a great time we had that night.
I know I’ve got some seriously bad karma coming my way, because this shit is bound to hit the fan and splatter.— Torn in two
We’d bet the power-bill money that the sex was mind-blowing mainly because of the sordid circumstance. That’s the problem with tasting the forbidden fruit: Once you give into temptation, you get evicted from Paradise and left nekkid in the desert. Telling Ron what happened probably won’t make either of you feel better about your actions — but it will most likely destroy his friendship with his frat bro. Not that we’re saying leave him in the dark about things. Rather, consider this incident as the universe’s way of asking you if the relationship is right — or a wake-up call that it isn’t.
Dear Karma Cleanser:
In response to the guy who was juggling his feelings for Liz and Bizarro Liz (“Call Me Back?” Nov. 20): Grow up already. You sound like a high-school sophomore, with your pathetic stories of binge drinking and jerking around these two hapless women.
Wake up and realize that you’re not going to get either girl so long as you treat the women in your life like they are commodities. — Male Bomb
You weren’t the only one who thought “Call Me Back” deserved a harsher tongue-lashing from the Karma Cleanser — which surprised us, given the severity of our response. Perhaps Bizarro Liz’s friends read between the lines and figured out the writer’s true identity. Just a thought.
Been bad? karma@creativeloafing.com.
This article appears in Dec 3-9, 2003.
