Dear Karma Cleanser:
My friend and I are having a dispute. He says when karma comes back to you, it’s always for the same amount of time you gave it out. I say it comes back with the same magnitude of energy that you gave out.
So if I did something for five years that hurt someone, I wouldn’t go through five years of pain; I would go through the same depth of pain. Who is right?
Sum People
There’s a Zen saying that declares, “Behind every jewel, there are 3,000 sweating horses.” Which is to say, we never know what Herculean strain and turmoil went into bringing just one thing of beauty into the world. The same, sadly, is true of sorrow. Hurt can’t be measured by hours or magnitude, but by its basic human toll. Karma responds with cosmic precision; to try and force an odometer on the universe would be nothing but folly.
Dear Karma Cleanser:
O, Fearless One: I notice myself experiencing anger when — like last night at my favorite neighborhood pub, for example — a cute boy I’ve been eyeing doesn’t look back at me.
Am I becoming a misandrist, or am I simply hyper-aware of the rich complex of normative feelings we succinctly call “rejection?”
All the Rage
Fearless? Surely you kid. Anyway, your reaction doesn’t indicate misanthropy, it just sounds to us like you’re going to the wrong bar. Our favorite metaphor for handling rejection: If you’re looking for oranges, don’t set out for the apple orchard. Go to the supermarket. Or something like that.
Dear Karma Cleanser:
There is a new intern in my office, and he is tall and friendly and just a little bit flirtatious. I don’t think he will be reporting to me directly, but I know I will sometimes have projects that he should be helping out with. Is it so wrong for me to ask if he is dating someone? Not sure I’d go on a date with him, but surely there’s no bad karma in getting more information?
Fax Finding Mission
Be honest. You’re not gathering information, you’re moving in for the kill. Career karma too often works against those who use the workplace as a meatmarket. Leave the innocent intern be and look him up once the semester’s over.
Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com.
This article appears in Jan 25-31, 2006.
