Dear Karma Cleanser:
What do you do when your new friend is racist? I don’t know for sure that my friend actually is racist, but I’m starting to worry about it. Here is the story.
I met “M” when he was dating my roommate. We started hanging out at bars together and ended up clicking in a very real way. His humor is similar to mine: We both like Wanda Sykes and “Crank Yankers.” M’s buddy icon is a black-faced woman, sort of an Aunt Jemima character, which cracked me up when I first saw it. But as time has gone on, I’ve started to think that he really is racist underneath all the humor. He refers to one of our friends as “The ‘Rican” (the guy is from Puerto Rico) and sometimes goes too far with his racial jokes.
I consider myself a fairly modern thinker who can laugh at both Democrats and Republicans and also see how stupid the whole “politically correct” movement has been. But I worry that my karma is endangered by associating with someone who is legitimately prejudiced underneath it all.
— Black, White and Gray
Dare we quote the wisdom of Avenue Q, with its harsh and hilarious proclamation that “everyone’s a little bit racist”? This is no excuse for M’s uncouth behavior — especially if your inner censor clicks on when his race-baiting crosses the line. Only you can decide where that line lies, though cutting all ties with someone who doesn’t share your exact views on race relations (or anything, for that matter) won’t help either of you. Tolerance, after all, is a two-way street, with heavy traffic and unreliable signage. Proceed with caution.
Dear Karma Cleanser:
You recently answered a letter from a girl who was dating four or five guys, all from the same bars, after breaking up with her boyfriend. You told her to change her bar selection and focus on quality over quantity. Well, I can’t say for sure, but it sounds like my ex-girlfriend wrote that letter. Even if it wasn’t her, I went through the same thing and I have to respond.
Fuck quality. Fuck quantity. She should stop and think about how it makes her ex, the person she spent so much time with, feel to see her act this way. That, to me, is the missing piece of the karma puzzle. Being so heartless in front of someone she once called her “soul mate” can’t be good for long-term karma. I think the letter writer should take a chill pill and figure out why she’s acting like such a slut.
Drunken, Bitter Beer-Drinker
Yikes! We hope that it actually wasn’t your ex who wrote the original letter, for the sake of civil relations between you two in the future. Maybe you should also stop frequenting said bars.
Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com.
This article appears in Feb 1-7, 2006.
