Dear Karma Cleanser:
I have been dating this guy for a month now and he invited me to come home with him for the holidays to meet his family. I agreed at the time, which was a couple of weeks ago. Three days before we were supposed to go, we got into a terrible fight. I basically told him that I no longer wanted to go. He said that his family had already bought a gift for me and that it would be rude for us not to attend.
I went and they all gawked over me and asked how long we had been dating, etc. I pretended that everything was fine out of pity for him. I knew that I wanted to stop seeing him. Was it good or bad karma to appease him and his family?
Noel in Hell
Let’s just punch some numbers into our Dating Calculator. You’ve been seeing this dude for about a month now, and the holiday invite came two weeks ago. Therefore the beau wanted to show you off in front of his family after only 14 days of dating? Your mistake here wasn’t so much going to meet the folks — it’s charging full speed ahead into a situation that can only be a disaster. You’re still getting to know each other, not invading Iraq! Why the rush? Give the gift back and tell the guy not to call you until after Valentine’s Day.
Dear Karma Cleanser:
A friend left his sandwich at the table in a restaurant we were eating at. He left to go to the bathroom and, thinking he was through eating, I finished it off. When he returned, he asked what had happened to his sandwich. I told him that I had eaten the rest. He said that he had not finish0ed eating. Feeling bad, I offered to buy him another one.
So I bought another sandwich for him and afterward he got sick. He threw up for hours and he blames me, saying that the other sandwich tasted funny. I feel bad that he thinks I caused his illness, so now I lie about being busy when he calls me. Not sure what to do or what was right or wrong.
Bacon, Lettuce and Temptation
Buying a replacement sandwich for the one you pinched alleviates your liability, and your tablemate should have had the good sense not to swallow something that didn’t taste right. Of course, he should also have the good sense not to hang out with people who rudely take things that don’t belong to them. Maybe his whole “sickness” was a psychosomatic response to a toxic friendship?
Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com.
This article appears in Jan 4-10, 2006.
