Dear Karma Cleanser:
I started a new job last week. I was not eager to join the company, because the people here have a lot of attitude. But the money is better and it’s no worse than my last gig.
The office is on two floors. I sit upstairs with one project manager. Downstairs is where the sales team sits. I was at the office late last night and came downstairs to check to see if I was alone in the building. I wasn’t. One of the girls on the sales team was still there. She apparently thought she was alone, because she was in the process of snorting a line of cocaine on her desk. (She even used her business card to do the cutting!) When she saw me, she started. I apologized for scaring her and hurried back upstairs.
I’m too new to this company to know if this is acceptable around here. My conscience says I should tell my new boss what I saw, but I also worry that’s bad for my career karma.
See No Evil
Sounds like the new office is a real powder keg — so to speak. You’d best keep quiet till you’ve figured out more about the corporate culture. Depending on your industry, cutting up lines with your business card might be the norm. We’re guessing it’s not, but either way, we say keep your nose out of her business: Her nose will eventually run its own karma.
Dear Karma Cleanser:
So my boyfriend caught me smoking cigarettes. I had been sort of hiding them from him. We both used to smoke, and I did quit for a while, but then I chose to smoke again when dealing with a very stressful situation in my life because my emotions were overwhelming me.
Not a good excuse, I know, but that was my bad choice. To make matters worse, it all came out in the open on his birthday. I feel terrible, but my smoking is a personal struggle and he is a real hardass about not smoking so I didn’t feel I could be totally honest. When he has asked me in the past if I was smoking, I did say yes, but he said he thought I was being sarcastic. I do want to quit, but know from experience it has to be for myself. To make matters worse, I smoked in his car, but I promised to have it detailed. Am I a terrible person? I actually feel better now that it is out, but my boyfriend says he can’t trust me now. Any advice?
Waiting to Exhale
In any relationship, there are parts of ourselves we keep hidden away from our partners, secret rooms of the soul that no one’s allowed access to. A struggle with smoking doesn’t fall into that category. Smoking may be your personal cross to bear, but partnership means sharing those labors with the ones we love. Otherwise, why bother? You’re not a terrible person. Come clean about the nicotine. If your boyfriend loves you, he’ll meet you halfway. The patch, we hear, makes a wonderful Xmas gift.
Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com.
This article appears in Dec 7-13, 2005.
