The pet set: Upscale pet hotels are open in New York, Hollywood and (based on a December Washington Post report) Fairfax County, Va., where the Olde Towne Pet Resort charges up to $230 a day for pooches’ use of a hydrotherapy pool, state-of-the-art exercise room, beauty parlor and suites with satellite TV, classical music and original, color-pleasing artwork (even though dogs are basically color-blind). (Products and services elsewhere on the pet-care market include gourmet food, heated dog beds, acupuncture and chiropractic treatments, water bowls with purifiers, and, according to a December Reuters dispatch from Tokyo, therapeutic mud packs for dogs, using mud from the Dead Sea.)
Doing time: A federal judge in Washington, D.C., ruled in November that the U.S. Department of Justice has for about 20 years blatantly denied attorneys overtime pay in violation of federal law, a practice the department defended merely by arguing that it thought there ought to have been an exception in the law (which is an argument the department usually scoffs at when filing its own lawsuits against lawbreakers).
Bright idea: In November, the City Council of Soap Lake, Wash., a 1,700-population town that did a booming tourist business in the 1950s but has fallen on hard times, voted the first step toward a revitalization that it believes will draw visitors back in droves: a 60-foot-tall lava lamp on Main Street. The architect of the campaign, Brent Blake, said, “I just for some reason thought of [a] lava lamp.”
Monkeyshines: Among the performers at the International Professional Rodeo Association’s show at the Hardeeville (S.C.) Speedway in October: Tim Lepard and his sheep-herding dogs (which is not so novel, in that dogs are bred to herd sheep in some countries, but Lepard’s three dogs are ridden during the herding by small, screaming monkeys). Said Lepard, “I wanted to put an act together that people will always remember.”
Least competent people: The Merced (Calif.) Sun-Star reported on Dec. 10 that an unnamed man was taken to a hospital in Modesto, Calif., after his head was split open by a brick. Police, called to the scene, were expecting to find foul play, but witnesses said the man was merely trying to see how high up he could throw a brick, and since it was dark (2:30 a.m.), the man lost track of the brick’s flight and could not get out of the way when it came down on his head. Police said alcohol appeared to be involved.
First things first: Springfield, Mass., firefighter John S. Marrero, 25, was fired in October, and superiors said it had nothing to do with the charges of possession of crack cocaine and Oxycontin filed against him (in that he is innocent until proven guilty of those charges). Rather, he was fired because he was caught smoking a cigarette when the state trooper arrested him, and cigarette smoking, on or off the job, is a violation of state law for any firefighter or police officer hired since 1988. (A Plymouth, Mass., police officer was fired for the same reason in 1993, and a court upheld the firing.)
Also, in the last month … : Freya McDonald, 15, and her family said they would soon file a lawsuit against the Speyside High School (Morayshire, England) for violating the European Convention on Human Rights by giving her 11 after-school detentions in nine months. And following an exhaustive four-month search by Florida’s child-welfare agency to find the 393 kids entrusted to it but whom it could not locate after an August crisis, Gov. Jeb Bush proudly announced that it had found all but 88. And the head of a government health agency in Thailand proposed that a leading oil company offer massages to tired motorists at its gas stations, to help reduce traffic accidents.
Best spills of 2002: An 18-wheeler full of beer (Interstate 5 near Fort Tejon, Calif., July); 1,500 gallons of Southern Comfort whiskey (warehouse in Louisville, Ky., July); 20 tons of hot dogs (Interstate 70, Kansas City, Mo., August); $1 million in cash (U.S. Highway 160, near Pagosa Springs, Colo., May); 50,000 inch-long screws (causing scores of flat tires) (Interstate 65, near Lebanon Junction, Ky., December); and 37 voting machines (fell off of a truck and were ruined, six days before primary elections (Albuquerque, May).
2003 CHUCK SHEPHERD
This article appears in Jan 15-21, 2003.
