Lead story: University of Florida professor Thomas DeMarse revealed
in December that he has constructed a primitive “brain” (“live computation device”)
out of 25,000 rat neurons and has taught it to maneuver an F-22 fighter jet
simulation in a straight trajectory. The brain had to be “taught,” he said,
because at first, the plane kept crashing. DeMarse said an organic brain is
potentially much more flexible than even the highest-tech computer. The National
Science Foundation and National Institutes of Health are funding his work, as
models for controlling otherwise-risky unmanned aircraft and for developing
epilepsy-fighting drugs.
Scenes of the surreal: In November, the school district in Spurger,
Texas, ended its decades-old, Homecoming Week reverse-roles day (in which girls
dress as boys and vice versa) after one parent complained that the tradition
promoted a homosexual lifestyle; in its place, the school urged kids to dress
in military camouflage.
Chutzpah: In Cleveland, Tenn., Rob Smitty gained
media attention in November after donating a kidney to a stranger, hoping the
selfless act would make his daughter “proud”; however, Smitty was at the time
24 months behind on child support, and his daughter, Amber, sighed to reporters
that Smitty had a poor record of visiting or calling, even on her birthday.
Injudicious judges: In September, District of Columbia Superior Court
Judge Judith Retchin ordered Jonathan Magbie, 27, to jail for 10 days for first-offense
marijuana possession (a virtually unheard-of sentence in D.C.), despite the
fact that Magbie was a quadriplegic with permanent tracheal, urinary and stomach
tubes and was often ventilator-dependent, in addition to having various other
infirmities. (Magbie died four days later.)
The entrepreneurial spirit: Farmer Randy Valicoff (of Yakima Valley
in Washington) sold designer apples (at $6) this autumn, created by laying tiny,
artistic stickers of “cougars” or “huskies” on ripening apples, leaving on the
otherwise-red skin yellow images of either the Washington State University cougar
or the University of Washington husky. And New Scientist magazine reported in
September that Chris Melhuish (University of the West of England at Bristol)
was readying his EcoBot II, a self-powered robot that runs on energy produced
by catching and digesting houseflies (and breaking down their sugars to release
electrons). The major downside: The most efficient way to attract flies is with
sewage, which makes EcoBot II unfriendly to humans.
Awesome animals: In November, BBC News previewed an upcoming story for
its wildlife TV magazine show “Spy in the Woods,” derived from film footage
from a stationary hidden camera in the Quingling Mountains in northwest China.
Featured on the show was a panda doing a handstand against a tree, apparently
for the purpose of extending the vertical reach of his urine, to more dominantly
mark his territory.
Creme de la weird: The super-reclusive, 280-person German cult Villa
Baviera, holed up in Chile since 1961 and worshiping former army nurse Paul
Schaefer (now age 81, with whereabouts unknown), broke into the public eye in
a November Reuters dispatch describing how most members have finally,
after four decades, come to realize that they were mistaken in their belief
that Schaefer is God’s messenger on Earth. The cult lived frozen in time, with
few modern conveniences, wearing clothing from the 1930s, and in total obedience
to Schaefer, who had imposed many idiosyncratic policies, including an ironclad
no-intimacy rule.
Readers’ choice: In November, a 46-year-old man climbed into an enclosed
area at the Taipei (Taiwan) Zoo, apparently to attempt to convert a pride of
lions to Christianity by informing them that Jesus is their savior. According
to witnesses, the lion king sauntered over and briefly sank his teeth into the
man’s leg, but then, according to one account, “got bored” and returned to his
previous state of lounging, as zoo personnel hustled the intruder away.
Least Competent Criminals: Although ride-on lawn mowers have been used
as transportation to and from crime scenes before (and even as “vehicles” that
drunk drivers get charged with DUI while operating), it is rare that a suspect
tries to actually outrun police on one, as Steven. W. Coleman, 37, did in Dover,
N.H., in December; he was wanted for questioning in an arson at a former girlfriend’s
house, and when he saw the lights of a police cruiser, he opened the throttle
and took off for a couple of blocks, before a second cruiser cut him off.
2004 CHUCK SHEPHERD
This article appears in Dec 29, 2004 – Jan 4, 2005.
