I was talking to a guy yesterday who doesn’t read my weekly comic book review column or this blog on a regular basis and he (let’s call him DUSTIN) remarked that I don’t really write negative reviews about the comics I read. And, although I do slam books regularly, his words got me to thinking that maybe I don’t write enough about the comics I actually don’t like. That said, here’s a list of comics I currently detest:
Justice Society of America and/or JSA All-Stars: The JSA worked well under the talented pen of Geoff Johns — but he’s gone and now the current creative teams just seem content to revel in lameness. Stale villains, bland action sequences, terrible dialogue and characterization that’s just wrong. I love the team and even I can’t read this shit anymore.
Booster Gold: Time travel comics suck. Why? Because nothing of consequence can actually happen due to the fact that you can’t change the past. Just bring Booster to the present, and make him a money-grubbing hero again.
The Hulk: Who is Red Hulk? Who gives a shit?! Jeph Loeb and Marvel have been stretching this story out for so long, whoever ends up being revealed as the man behind the red bad guy — even if it’s Jean Grey or something — won’t be worth the wait.
Deadpool: I can’t believe people read this. It’s the most inconsequential book on the stands — yet, it sells. Amazing.
Uncanny X-Men: Yeah, I’ve given up on this title. It’s just dull. How dull? Well one of the big sub-plots for the last few issues has been: How can the X-Men keep their island from sinking? The solution? Namor ended up building a pillar under it. Now, I’m no engineering genius, but how was this a big deal? The X-Men figure out ways to jump from one side of the universe and back every other month; they can’t figure out how to build a pillar?!
More to come …
This article appears in Feb 2-8, 2010.
Comic book nerds I hate….
You.
Enjoy dying a virgin.
“I’m no engineering genius”
No…you’re not a genius at all now are you.
Hating on Deadpool?! He’s the only creative thing going on in comic books anywhere.
Go back to your basement and jerk off to old copies of Dr. Strange
Crack open a bottle of Haterade and when your done slurping it, come round and pick up your mommma shes staining my sofa!
How is Deadpool inconsequential when the rumored Deadpool movie is one of the most anticipated movies since the comic movie boom began?
who are you to judge people who buy deadpool……ohh right i forgot your a fat nerd. Well, if you ever come up with a comic that is as successful as Deadpool and have a movie about it then give me a ring, otherwise go back to the basement of your mums house and jerk off to those hulk pin ups
Inconsequential? Yes it’s terrible Deadpool can’t go around saving the world from one poorly conceived plot point to the next. He’s just to busy going threw a series of entertaining wacky character driven adventures to get caught up in another all expansive never ending story arch to nowhere.
I bet you bought the Obama:The Barbarian comic…Deadpool is the man and you shall be haunted by Bea Arthur’s Spirit for hating his Comic.
Let me say one thing, you’re a fat piece of crap who sits around jerking it to your own opinions even if no one else will listen to you
You should add to your list:
-The ongoing batman series…
-The titans, not the teen titans, but the TITANS. What have they done to that team?
-Blakest night… or all the “kill ’em all” series DC have been doing lately. The DC universe is starting to turn in an old school Tomino serie, but not for thr their great plot…
-I love spiderman, but “One day more”…nuff said.
WOW Carlton does this happen every time you write a bad review of something? Or just Deadpool? This is like YouTube comments up in here.