Ladies, have you ever noticed this pattern? You’re preparing to exit a social setting, ready to go home. You hug all the girls, make a round of waves, and head for the door and down the street alone. All of a sudden, a guy appears, offering to insure you get home safely.
“Let me walk you to your car” … “Do you need a ride home?”
But are guys doing that because they genuinely care about our safety — wanting to walk us through the dark parking garage, or drive us home safely (even though we’re more sober than they are?) — or do they just want to create an opportunity to make a move?
When you guys see a girl walking alone, do your chivalrous instincts kick in to run over and be her knight on a white horse who will protect her from the evil villains on the city streets? Or do you see an opportunity? An opportunity to talk to her in a more private setting, without competing with the high volume of the music or her friends. An opportunity to try and kiss her or convince her to go home with you.
Is there always an ulterior motive, or is our appreciation to you for our safety reward enough? Not to discredit the nice guys, but these days I’m having trouble telling the heroes from the hornballs.
This article appears in Aug 2-8, 2011.
Not only is it difficult to tell the hero’s from the hornballs, but if I had left alone and some random guy came up to me and asked to walk me home or to my car…in a dark parking garage, no less?! I think not! He could be a great guy, with perfectly good intentions, and my alarm bells would be going off.
Have we all become so jaded? or have I been watching one too many movies?
It would be interesting to find out if men would actually approach a woman alone, and ask to walk her home or to her car, just out of thoughtfulness and safety concern, as opposed to ‘making your move’.
From a man’s point of view, you got to remember not every man is out to be inappropiate towards woman. I’m a guy who has done the can i give you a ride or opening up the door and at times if it is raining let them borrow my umbrella. I don’t mind in using chivalry and when a woman needs help I give without an motive. i would walk her home or even to her car for just being a gentleman for her safety. then if we started talking and she liked me then it would be great and worth it. we don’t live in a world today where people show alot of compassion for others but judge on looks
You never said whether or not he had cocaine.
As a guy, I do try to be protective over girls I know if they’re alone. Usually if I offer to drive a girl home, I am concerned about her safety and well-bring.
That being said, with some of my friends, I wouldn’t be closed off to the idea of having a drink at her place or getting to know her better, but that’s never the reason I do what I do.
Funny I was just thinking about this today, working security at large hotel downtown, late at night I will sometimes get several requests from females to walk them around the corner to the diner or down the street to their cars… that said, if I am not working and am walking too close to a female I don’t know I will notice them constantly speeding up to put distance between us, even though I’m just a cute skinny white guy I guess I still resemble a threat.
I have noticed that if the woman is attractive or if the man is in to her he will offer to walk her to her car however, overweight, older or unattractive women rarely ever get offers to be walked to their cars.
Same thing if you are having car trouble on the side of the road. When I was young and attractive I had lots of help pull over but now, as a middle aged woman nobody pulls over to help me.