By Oprah Winfrey
To all you people who are lighting up the message boards criticizing me for not having 
Sarah Palin on my show after I endorsed Obama, I have three words: White Woman’s Disease.
I’ve taken the time to examine the basketball skills of the two presidential candidates, and let me tell you, there is no comparison.
Sarah Palin was known as “Sarah Barracuda” when she played high school basketball in what–Wasilla, Alaska? I’m sorry, it’s not exactly a hoops hotbed.
Barack Obama has the skills needed to lead this country in the 21st century. Low body fat percentage, low turnover-to-assist ratio, and an incredible 35-inch vertical leap! We’re talking a lottery pick, folks!
Palin, on the other hand, has Thunder Thighs, a tendency to turn the ball over in traffic, and–are you ready for this–an 11 inch vertical leap.
A classic case of White Woman’s Disease. Sarah Palin couldn’t dunk the ball if you gave her a stepladder. Maybe if you she was driving on one of those table-top Playskool Shoot ‘n Score hoops, but not on the South Side of Chicago. Unh-uh.
It’s not that I’m using my show to push a political agenda. I’m just trying to make sure the USA remains the #1 street-ball nation on earth.
News Groper features more than 50 parody blogs by politicians, celebrities, business tycoons, and foreign despots.
This article appears in Sep 9-16, 2008.
White woman’s disease? I never thought that I would do this, but yes, you are being racist Oprah Winfrey. Frankly you gave no good grounds at all anyway for not having her as a guest on your show and just stated that she had “white woman’s disease.”
I really wish that you just be honest and state that you are campaigning for Obama in your own way and don’t want to promote Sarah Palin in any manner. So you are being racist and dishonest. It’s really disgusting.
Er, David … it’s a joke. The News Groper posts aren’t real. Oprah didn’t really write that. It’s satire.
David,
Is is really possible that you are that obtuse? How could you have ever taken these comments as “real”. You are such a scary stereotype of the Palin supporter.