Last weekend when I went out on Lake Norman, I garnered a new nickname: Captain Safety.
That’s because I spent the entire day with a dolphin-shaped floatation device around my waist, a Steeplechase sized hat, and enough SPF to keep an Albino white — and then proceeded to go around and tell everyone to wear protection.
You can never be too careful in the sun … or in the bedroom. Going into both unprotected can leave you with a burning sensation.
When I was at Whisky River the other night, the bartender, Marky Mark, noticed my Sponge Bob Square Pants band-aid covering my pinky when I reached out to grab my “Slutty Shirley Temple ” from him.
So, being the good bartender he is, he reached into his pocket and handed me this …
A finger condom.
Apparently these are used to cover small wounds on the hands to keep the band-aid in place and protect the wound, keeping it sanitary. And to prevent you from contaminating everything you touch. You can get them at drug stores. What’s a better look — wearing a mini condom on your pinky or a little kids band-aid?
I got really excited about these finger condoms. Now my ex can get condoms that fit him …. kidding.
This article appears in Jun 7-13, 2011.
