By George W. Bush
Let’s call the whole thing off! (AP)
While I was waiting for John McCain, I broke into a little tap dance. That’s right. Do you want to know why? No? You sure? Really? Absolutely sure? It’s weird how I keep asking if you want to know why, and it’s a rhetorical question, and despite that I keep hitting this wall where you say that you’re not interested. I’m going to ignore your answers and move right on past it.
I danced while waiting for John McCain because I was happy, because it hit me all at once that soon I won’t have to be the president anymore. Soon, some other poor sap will come to work at the White House and sit in the White Chair, behind the White Desk, and feel the crushing dullness of this momentous honor.
I have friends from college whose jobs involve castrating bulls. That sounds like a laugh and a half. I only get to get castrated by bullshitters. Did you see how I did that? I took some words from the first sentence and reinvested them in the second one. I’m going to do that so much more often when I’m not president. I’m also going to write a ton more songs. I wrote one today. It is below:
President taps
President dances
President unsnaps
His pants and romances
That’s all I’ve written so far. When I retire, I’m totally going to finish it.
News Groper features more than 50 parody blogs by politicians, celebrities, business tycoons, and foreign despots.
This article appears in Mar 5-11, 2008.
