We have been given a document by WikiLeaks that contains a transcript of a meeting of the Republican members of the County Commission, discussing the proposed deal to make Democrat Harold Cogdell the Commission chair, in exchange for Republican Jim Pendergraph getting the vice chairmanship. In the interests of transparency, freedom of information, and higher ad rates, we present readers the text of the WikiLeaks document:
Jim Pendergraph: Listen to this. We’ve gotten an offer of a deal from Harold Cogdell, and I think we should discuss it.
Karen Bentley: From who?
JP: Harold Cogdell?
KB: Ugh. That’s what I thought you said.
Bill James: What’s the deal?
JP: He wants us to vote for him for Commission chair, and in return he’ll support me for vice chairman.
KB: He wants to push out Jennifer Roberts? Cogdell?! You’ve got to be kidding; the guy’s a first-class weasel, and a dumbass to boot. What would he know about being chairman?
BJ: Hey, that might not be a bad thing for us, though. It could be easier to get things on the agenda. Once he screws over Roberts, the Dems will treat him like the plague, and he could be, let’s say, “persuadable.”
Neil Cooksey: That’s pretty sneaky, isn’t it?
BJ: Oh, listen to the rookie. You’re not afraid of real politics, are you, Neil?
KB: Give Neil a break, Bill. I just don’t know that Cogdell can be trusted. If he’s willing to stab Roberts in the back, who says he won’t work against us once the deal is done?
BJ: Well, if he did that, then he wouldn’t have anybody to turn to on the Commission for support of his own ideas.
NC: Ohhh, I see. If we support some of his proposals, he could help us by supporting some of ours.
KB: Now you’re getting the picture.
JP: Personally, I think it’s a great idea.
KB: Well, of course you would.
JP: Not just because I’d be vice chairman, dammit. Has anybody ever told you you’ve got a bitter side? Look, we have a lot that we’d like to do, and this could be our chance. I can’t wait to get to work on getting rid of the immigrants that are taking over this city.
NC: You mean illegal immigrants, right?
JP: Whatever. I say make ’em all disappear.
KB: Jim, I can’t agree that illegal immigrants are top priority. I want to see the Commission throw our weight around in the schools. Especially with the whole policy of throwing money at the poor schools. It’s ridiculous; everybody knows those people aren’t going anywhere in life, so why bother? I say we relieve the crowding in our suburban schools; that way, the real future leaders of the community can get the help they deserve. When I think of how my friend’s son is struggling, just so little Chaneequa or whoever can have a computer, it makes my blood boil.
BJ: I agree with both of you, but I gotta tell you, if we can wrangle Cogdell into voting with us, I think our main goal has to be putting the kibosh on same-sex couple benefits.
JP: You mean for county workers?
BJ: Hell, I mean for the whole county. We could outlaw local businesses, especially the big banks, from furthering a radical gay agenda.
JP: I don’t know about taking on the banks …
NC: How about if we work on better coordination between county agencies and management, so we don’t have any more DSS-type fiascos? We’d be saving money, and it’d make things more streamlined.
BJ: Neil, you’re new here, so let me tell you something. The more DSS-type fiascos we have, the better it is for us.
NC: Huh?
BJ: Seriously. Do you think you’d be here, and maybe even Jim, if taxpayers hadn’t gotten disgusted with the way the Dems were running the county?
NC: Well, I’d like to think it was my good ideas about government that got me here.
BJ, KB, JP: [General uproarious laughter.]
JP: Oh, man, that’s a good one. Now, seriously, do we want to take up Cogdell on this, or not?
KB: Can you imagine Vilma’s face when she finds out? Woo-hoo!
BJ: That’ll be sweet. I just hope she doesn’t hit anybody.
KB: And you can already hear George Dunlap sputtering, and going on and on about it …
BJ: … in that special incoherent way of his. [All laugh.]
JP: OK, how about if we take a vote? [recording ends]
This article appears in Dec 14-20, 2010.
Only a full-on retard like Grooms could use an abortive back-room power-grab hatched by a Dimmycrap to launch into the 253rd dim-witted installment of his monotonous diatribe against the GOP.
BTW, shouldn’t it be George Dunlap who they’re afraid might hit somebody? Oh that’s right, hitting Republican women is Dimmycrap policy.
Woooow…What a crack squad we have making county decisions. I wonder what kind of excuse they’re going to come up with for this ignorance. No wait, it’s ok when THEY do it, right?
Is this legit? I can’t imagine these folks being this stupid. I understand Bill James. He’s myopic in his world view and you can’t blame the guy. He’s probably never traveled or lived anywhere but here his entire life. But KB sounds like a loon. The south continues to be one of the most backward places in the entire country.
And they really think the convention will come to Charlotte now. Not if I can help it. Lets band together to let everybody know what the city commision really thinks about Manuel and Shaniqua getting a decent education.
I see why they are closing schools in black neighborhoods. Well maybe karen bentley doesn’t think we are going anywhere, but how far does she think she is going after that comment?
I’m curious as to the validity of this column. I mean this does read like a script from a Legion of Doom roll call. It sounds too perfect of a set up to be credible at face value. Also how would WikiLeak get this? Do they have county officials bugged? I’m not entirely up to speed on WikiLeak but do they investigate every major city in America or just particular ones to check for corruption? If so their staff must be huge. If not then why Charlotte? I honestly doubt this is true. Not doubting that public officials here in Charlotte are idiots, but come on this sounds more like an Onion article.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I’m late reading these comments, but I obviously should have made it clear that the entire column was satirical fiction. All the conversations were made up, none of it actually happened. It’s a satire of the county commission’s pathetic attempts at wheeling and dealing when hardly any of them even know what they’re doing. Sorry for the confusion, we’ll be more careful to identify Onion-y satire when it’s printed. I thought the inclusion of Wikileaks, which would be unlikely to give us info (or even know of our existence, for that matter), would be a giveaway, but hey, it’s not the first mistake I’ve made.
As always, thanks also to rightwing internet troll musicmax for his usual insults and utter misunderstanding of what he’s just read.