New Releases
HOODWINKED These days, it seems that everyone this side of Mike Leigh has climbed aboard the animation bandwagon. So it’s really no surprise that Harvey and Bob Weinstein, the former Miramax heads responsible for such adult features as The Piano and The English Patient, have acquired (for their new outfit The Weinstein Company) the distribution rights for this independently produced toon flick. Given the quality, however, the Weinstein siblings would have been well-advised to use the funds as a down payment on another Jane Campion or Anthony Minghella project instead. Hoodwinked isn’t exactly awful, but with its crude animation, lumbering storyline and forgettable songs, it’s hard to envision any demand even for its mere existence. Clearly aping the Shrek films, this attempts to put a spin on classic children’s fairy tales by adding all manner of so-called “hip” references and grownup-geared plot maneuverings, approaches that grow more stale with each passing year. Hoodwinked is basically Little Red Riding Hood by way of Rashomon, as amphibious Detective Nicky Flippers (David Ogden Stiers) hears variations on the saga from four different participants: Red (Anne Hathaway), Granny (Glenn Close), the Wolf (Patrick Warburton) and the Woodsman (Jim Belushi). Viewers who haven’t completely Zenned out during the showing will easily guess the identity of the true culprit, though they’ll doubtless have more fun mentally tracking the Six (actually, Three) Degrees of Separation between Mike Leigh and Jim Belushi. Rating: * 1/2
Current Releases
THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE Christians, heathens and everyone in between will be inspired to hold hands and sway to the gentle rhythms of this epic yarn. C.S. Lewis’ source material — the first book in a series of seven — sprinkled Christian allegories throughout a fantasy tale that was aimed primarily at children, and the movie steadfastly respects Lewis’ intentions. Like the best kid flicks, it never talks down to its target audience, and its religious themes — issues involving honor, forgiveness and redemption — embody the true spirit of Christianity and in effect serve as an antidote to the sadistic theatrics of Mel Gibson’s garish snuff film, The Passion of the Christ. With its story of four plucky siblings attempting to save a strange land from the machinations of an evil queen (Tilda Swinton), this seems as inspired by the recent Lord of the Rings flicks as by anything on the written page. But the child actors are appealing, the supporting critters add color, and the brisk storyline fuels the imagination. Rating: ***
THE FAMILY STONE Initially more reminiscent of the brittle Thanksgiving yarns Home For the Holidays and Pieces of April than the warm-and-fuzzy titles usually foisted upon us at Christmas, this ensemble piece centers on a liberal New England clan whose members prove to be close-minded when it comes to accepting a conservative prude into their abode. Oldest son Everett (Dermot Mulroney) brings girlfriend Meredith (Sarah Jessica Parker) home to meet his family, but for the most part they treat their guest poorly, finding it impossible to warm up to her views. Writer-director Thomas Bezucha does a nice job of capturing the way that dissimilar people must try to coexist peacefully at familial gatherings. But refusing to follow through on the messy reality of his story, he shamelessly changes direction by offering every character (except the one designated as sacrificial lamb, of course) a happily-ever-after fadeout by making sure no one is left out in the cold — either physically, mentally or emotionally. Rating: ** 1/2
FUN WITH DICK AND JANE It wouldn’t take much for Fun With Dick and Jane to emerge as a superior remake, given that the 1977 original looks especially dismal these days. That laughless comedy employs two actors of marginal comedic abilities — Jane Fonda and George Segal — in a lumbering yarn about a well-to-do married couple who turn to crime once the husband loses his job. This new version one-ups its predecessor right out of the starting gate by casting two bona fide comedians — Jim Carrey and Tea Leoni — in the central roles. This is strictly a congenial, end-of-year trifle aimed at providing families with somewhere to go after all the presents have been opened. It’s a pleasant enough diversion, offering a few chuckles, allowing Carrey to occasionally mug, and keeping the paying customers satisfied. Rating: ** 1/2
KING KONG Does Peter Jackson’s heavily hyped remake of the 1933 masterpiece improve on its landmark predecessor? Of course not. In fact, I’d be hard-pressed to think of any area in which it’s better than the original — even the occasionally crude effects from ’33, crafted from blood, sweat, tears and tiny models, stir the soul more than the CGI trickery on view here. But on its own terms, this new version gets the job done. In essence, Jackson has taken the 103-minute original and stretched it out to a 190-minute running time. The three-act structure remains intact, however, as filmmaker Carl Denham (Jack Black) and actress Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts) journey to Skull Island, meet the great ape, and bring him back to New York City. Despite an abundance of thrills, Jackson respects that King Kong is above all else a love story between woman and beast — and it’s a measure of Watts’ skills that she generates enormous chemistry with an animal that’s created out of computer codes rather than flesh and blood. Rating: *** 1/2
MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA Director Rob Marshall’s adaptation of the Arthur Golden novel plays like a Disney version of a Zhang Yimou movie, though the end result isn’t as dreadful as that designation might suggest. While set in Japan, this examines many of the same sorts of clashes as Zhang’s Chinese epics, yet Marshall (Chicago) isn’t able to transform his film into anything more than a lush melodrama filled with pomp and pageantry. As movie artifice, it’s above average, but it goes no deeper than that. The struggles of the characters — particularly the penniless foster child who grows up to become the legendary geisha known as Sayuri (Ziyi Zhang) — make for adequate screen entertainment, though the movie curiously mutes the tragic dimension of women being bartered over and sold like trinkets in an open-air marketplace. The entire cast is fine, but the best performance comes from Gong Li as the seasoned geisha who makes life difficult for Sayuri. HH1/2
MUNICH Steven Spielberg’s Munich is largely a fictionalization of the events that transpired after that tragic day at the 1972 Olympics in Germany, when a group of Palestinian terrorists slaughtered the Israeli athletes they were holding as hostages. The movie reveals that the Israeli government sent a select band of assassins to eliminate everyone who was responsible for the massacre. But these characters aren’t positioned as Israel’s version of The Untouchables, with clear-cut visions of right and wrong. Instead, as they carry out each hit on their eye-for-an-eye agenda, each man reacts differently to the consequences of their actions. Is this brand of retribution just? Or are they in effect embracing the same ideology that drives the terrorists? Spielberg’s muddying of the moral waters is already drawing heat, but it’s to his credit as a filmmaker of consequence that he asks the hard questions and doesn’t flinch from any unsettling truths that might emerge. Rating: ***
THE PRODUCERS Mel Brooks’ 1968 movie (for which he earned an Oscar for his original screenplay) was resurrected by the comic legend himself as a hugely popular Broadway musical. That another movie version would follow is no surprise; what’s startling is how the picture plays as little more than a static filming of the stage play, barely more mobile than those one-set Shakespeare dramatizations that used to pop up regularly on PBS. Yet director Susan Stroman’s staging is by no means a death blow. On the contrary, The Producers functions in much the same way as the recent screen adaptation of Rent by emphasizing melody and mirth over movement — in fact, it works even better thanks to the presence of master ham Nathan Lane. As the timid accountant Leo Bloom, Matthew Broderick strains too hard to be funny; Lane, on the other hand, is a riot as Max Bialystock, the struggling producer who determines that a dreadful show called Springtime for Hitler is his ticket to riches. Rating: ***
THE RINGER In need of quick cash, a struggling office worker named Steve (Johnny Knoxville) is persuaded by his sleazy uncle (Brian Cox) to pretend to be a mentally challenged athlete named Jeffy so he can enter the Special Olympics and come away the big winner. The movie may sound outrageous and offensive, but truthfully, navel-scratching slobs won’t enjoy this any more than navel-gazing snobs once they catch a whiff of its overwhelming timidity. In the end, all that’s left is a familiar tale about a guy who attempts to get close to a woman he likes (in this case, Katherine Heigl’s perky volunteer) by pretending to be something he’s not — see City Lights, Tootsie, Hitch, and about 1,000 other titles that mine this formula better than The Ringer. Rating: * 1/2
RUMOR HAS IT … Scripter T.M. Griffin actually comes up with a clever premise: Sarah Huttinger (Jennifer Aniston) learns through a series of events that Charles Webb’s best-selling novel The Graduate was based on the experiences of her own family — specifically, the mother (now deceased) and grandmother (Shirley MacLaine) who more than 30 years earlier had slept with the same man (Kevin Costner). The hook turns out to be the most entertaining aspect of the film, as Sarah strives to learn exactly how all the pieces of the Graduate puzzle fit together. But once she becomes romantically entangled with Costner’s character, the picture grinds to a halt, losing its comic conceit and getting bogged down in the mundanity of its older man-younger woman relationship. Director Rob Reiner then proceeds to make matters worse, repeatedly mistaking frantic for funny and basically turning these initially promising characters into gibbering idiots. Rating: **
WOLF CREEK Maybe it’s just me, but isn’t there something distasteful about releasing a movie this sadistic and nihilistic during a holiday season that’s supposed to be all about spirituality and generosity? Not that this dud would look good any time of year. Writer-director Greg McLean’s film strands three college-age kids (Cassandra McGrath, Kestie Morassi and Nathan Phillips) in the Australian Outback, whereupon they meet a hulking roughneck (John Jarratt) who proceeds to slice and dice them as he sees fit. Wolf Creek bills itself as “Based On Real Events,” a dubious claim since the film is rife with the sort of boneheaded plotting that can only be found in sub-par thrillers of this nature. Furthermore, since there were no witnesses to some of the grisly deaths on view, how can this be based on anything but McGrath’s own misogynistic leanings? Rating: *
OPENS FRIDAY, JANUARY 13:
GLORY ROAD: Josh Lucas, Derek Luke.
HOODWINKED: Voices of Anne Hathaway, Glenn Close.
LAST HOLIDAY: Queen Latifah, Gerard Depardieu.
TRISTAN & ISOLDE: James Franco, Sophia Myles.
This article appears in Jan 11-17, 2006.
