Mirror, mirror, on the wall, which current home theater release tops them all? Hey, don’t expect any semblance of clarity when posing that question, since this month’s batch includes a sizable number of notable heavy hitters.
When it comes to recent theatrical releases making their debuts on video and DVD, the clear winner is Bridget Jones’s Diary (***1/2 out of four), which proved to be a robust box office performer this past spring. I’m upping my original rating a half-star, since a repeat performance yielded just as many laughs as the virgin viewing, and because it was even more clear how superior this is to most of the drivel that gets passed off as romantic comedy these days. Renee Zellweger, hopefully in line for the Oscar nomination that eluded her for Jerry Maguire and Nurse Betty, gained 20 pounds and an English accent to land the screen incarnation of Helen Fielding’s beloved literary character. While the casting of a Yank as a Brit caused plenty of wailing on the other side of the Atlantic (hey, it’s only fair: We cast the British Vivien Leigh as Scarlett O’Hara), it’s hard to imagine that anybody complained after catching Zellweger’s excellent performance as an insecure single woman whose affections are torn between her rascally boss (a playful Hugh Grant) and an upright, uptight barrister (a smoldering Colin Firth). Certainly, Bridget goes through the romantic comedy paces every now and then, but while the script may occasionally indulge in conventional behavior, Zellweger never plays it as such; instead, she steadfastly refuses to turn her character into a standard, nose-crinkling, Cheeto-munching movie lonelyheart. Zellweger’s Bridget Jones feels like a complete original — reminiscent of Audrey Hepburn’s Holly Golightly or Diane Keaton’s Annie Hall — and it’s nice to know that single cineasts everywhere have a new, neurotic heroine to champion. DVD features include seven deleted scenes and an audio commentary with director Sharon Maguire.
On the DVD front, there’s been a real push between studios to release the “ultimate” DVD, which of course means that consumers end up the winners no matter which way they turn. The Godfather DVD Collection includes all three films plus an additional disc packed with extras, The Phantom Menace features seven new scenes created specifically for the DVD, and the upcoming Shrek boasts over 11 hours of supplemental material. Not to be outdone, Disney claims it’s upping the medium’s ante with Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (***1/2), described by the studio as “a breakthrough ‘immersive’ DVD.” Actually, New Line Home Entertainment already went the “immersive” route with its recently introduced infinifilm line (which debuted last summer with Thirteen Days), but that’s not to say that Disney hasn’t done an outstanding job with this release. The 1938 film still holds up nicely, though I realize I’m the only person in the world not to award it a perfect four stars. The animation is spectacular, the songs are catchy, the dwarfs are delightful, and the movie itself is revolutionary in that it was the first full-length animated feature ever released. But let’s face it: Snow White has to be the most passive heroine in movie history. Beyond getting the dwarfs to wash their hands before supper, she does nothing in this film; instead, she’s protagonist as perpetual victim, getting saved at every turn by the woodsman, the dwarfs and the prince without ever actively fending for herself. And you can’t blame her simpering nature on the times, either: Snow White was made during a period in which headstrong actresses like Bette Davis, Katharine Hepburn and Greta Garbo were at their most potent.
But enough quibbling: The movie offers its fair share of entertainment, and this two-disc DVD proudly does it justice. It’s impossible to list all the added features, but highlights include an audio commentary by Walt Disney himself (constructed from archival recordings), five deleted scenes and one deleted song, an overview of Walt Disney Studios through the decades (hosted by, among others, past Disney stars Dean Jones and Fess Parker), Dopey’s Wild Mine Ride Game, and enough extra stuff to fill an entire coal mine. Incidentally, Disney is also releasing 1941’s Dumbo (***1/2) this month, and while the DVD may not be as packed as the one for Snow White, it still provides a bounty of booty, including a featurette on the making of the film, two animated shorts, and a storybook read-along. As for the movie itself, it’s still a delight, and I defy anyone not to get teary-eyed when the little elephant with the big ears gets some good lovin’ from his imprisoned mommy.
The aforementioned films (as well as the ones cited in “Must-See DVDs” below) are so accomplished, it’s regrettable that some lackluster titles force us to come back down to earth. Among these less-than-luminous new releases, there’s the imbecilic Swordfish, the dull Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, and the scattershot Heartbreakers (**). In Some Like It Hot, as Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis ogle Marilyn Monroe sashaying down the train platform, Lemmon famously states that it’s like watching “jello on springs.” In this box office underachiever, Jennifer Love Hewitt, wearing dresses so tight it’s a wonder she can breathe, does her fair share of strutting her stuff, but the result is more like watching Barbie in cement. Not yet ready to graduate to adult roles, this shapely but stiff teen idol is like a producer’s idea of a tease — and come to think of it, so is the movie, a haphazard comedy that never delivers on its promising premise. Director David Mirkin faced an uphill battle in providing enough juice to propel this overlong farce about a mother-and-daughter con team (Sigourney Weaver and Hewitt) skilled at swindling rich men out of their dough. After a dreadful first half, the film steadies itself once the plot mechanics start paying off; still, the end result is far more exhausting than entertaining. Ray Liotta has some good bits as one of Weaver’s patsies, though it’s Gene Hackman who steals the show: Apparently basing his character on W.C. Fields (right down to the red nose), he’s a riot as a crusty tobacco tycoon who proudly recalls how he used to hook grade-school kids on cigarettes. DVD extras include 22(!) deleted scenes, which sounds like another whole mediocre movie in itself.
To answer a question I get asked like clockwork every couple of months, the reason my rating system only goes down to one star instead of no stars is because when one is mulling over movies this wretched, why take the time to differentiate between levels of ineptitude? Having said that, I gotta confess that every once in a while, a movie comes along that makes me want to take the zero-star plunge — a movie just like Freddy Got Fingered (*). MTV dork Tom Green, a comedian so incompetent that he makes Pauly Shore and Tom Arnold look like Annie Hall-era Woody Allen, has directed, co-written and starred in a motion picture so abysmal it almost defies description. Green plays a 28-year-old slacker who still lives at home with his bullying dad (Rip Torn) and simpering mom (Julie Hagerty); during the course of the movie, we get to see him stroke a horse’s penis, chew through an umbilical cord and then swing the baby around like a lasso, lick the protruding bone from a friend’s broken leg, and gut a deer and wear its bloody carcass over his body. Green obviously wants us to find all this deeply offensive — that’s doubtless how he measures his success — but jaded moviegoers won’t find this offensive as much as simply moronic. No, what’s offensive about Freddy Got Fingered is how it takes this wonderful medium — the motion picture form — and debases it solely for the sake of its star’s pitiful ego. The title, incidentally, refers to a subplot in which Green’s character falsely accuses his dad of sexually molesting his younger brother. Wow, what a great concept for a comedy; wonder why Charlie Chaplin never thought of it? DVD extras include deleted scenes, audio commentaries, and an MTV making-of special.
This article appears in Oct 24-30, 2001.
