Current Releases
THE ARISTOCRATS This documentary revolves around a hoary joke that features the same set-up and punchline (“The Aristocrats!”), yet the middle of the gag is an open invitation for comedians to get as nasty as they wanna be in the retelling. This movie finds 96 such comics weighing in on the joke, either telling it in whole, in part, or simply commenting on its legacy. In its best moments, the film examines the very art of profanity and its ability to shock, surprise and even move us. The showstopper arrives when Gilbert Gottfried, attending a roast held right after the calamity of 9/11, launches into a grotesque version, in effect shaking the walking dead in attendance right out of their stupor. It’s oddly stirring, and in its best moments so is this movie, as it smashes through the hypocrisy and Puritanism choking this nation to strike blows for free speech, artistic expression and — yes — profane profundity. Rating: ***
THE BROTHERS GRIMM Terry Gilliam, the former Monty Python member whose peculiar brand of genius doesn’t always translate comfortably to his motion picture endeavors, has concocted an overstuffed boondoggle that’s miles removed from the mind-bending highs of Brazil or Twelve Monkeys. Wrestling with a muddled screenplay by Ehren Kruger (The Ring Two), Gilliam has created a noisy and nonsensical eyesore that quickly morphs from a movie into an endurance test. Matt Damon and Heath Ledger are cast adrift as the title characters, con artists whose ability to fool the local yokels of Germany with their fabricated yarns gets put to the test once they encounter genuine monsters. A bright idea threatens to surface every now and then, but it’s quickly bludgeoned to death by the rest of this fractured fairy tale. Rating: *
THE CONSTANT GARDENER Based on John Le Carre’s novel, this gripping film from director Fernando Meirelles (City of God) stars Ralph Fiennes as a mild-mannered British diplomat living in Kenya with his activist wife (Rachel Weisz); after she’s murdered, he perseveres to discover the reasons behind her death. With its unblinking examinations of the soulnessness of corporations and the grotesque manner in which the western world continues to ignore the plight of impoverished African nations (an angle it shares with Hotel Rwanda and The Interpreter), The Constant Gardener reverberates with a torn-from-the-headlines urgency. Yet what’s most startling about the movie is the gale force of its love story, featuring characters so vividly brought to life (both Fiennes and Weisz are terrific) that you leave the theater with a lump in the throat to accompany the fire in the belly. Rating: *** 1/2
THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE No more frightening than a Chihuahua with a bad disposition, this stilted horror yarn casts newcomer Jennifer Carpenter as the title character, who heads off to college and promptly becomes possessed by demonic forces. The family priest (Tom Wilkinson) is summoned to perform an exorcism, but after the girl dies in his care, he finds himself being defended against involuntary manslaughter charges by an agnostic lawyer (Laura Linney). Tedious rather than tense and sabotaged by its full range of one-dimensional characterizations, the movie alternates between Dolby-enhanced possession scenes that could benefit from some projectile vomiting (or at least a spinning head) and droning courtroom sequences that wouldn’t pass muster on the weakest episode of Matlock. To hell with it. Rating: * 1/2
THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN The summer’s most unexpected surprise, The 40-Year-Old Virgin mixes honest sentiment and raunchy humor in a manner that’s more satisfying than in just about any comparable modern comedy, including Wedding Crashers — in fact, not since There’s Something About Mary has a movie combined these disparate elements so seamlessly. Steve Carell plays Andy, a man-child who sports an impressive collection of comic books and action figures, rides a bicycle to work every day, and never has even come close to knowing the joys of a relationship, let alone the attendant carnal pleasures. His co-workers (Paul Rudd, Romany Malco and Seth Rogen) make it their mission in life to hook Andy up; he eventually bumps into a few prospects, the most promising being a single mom (excellent Catherine Keener). Carell and director Judd Apatow (who collaborated on the script) take their time developing all the principal players but never shirk on the laughs. Rating: *** 1/2
JUNEBUG Director Phil Morrison and screenwriter Angus MacLachlan shot Junebug around their hometown of Winston-Salem, meaning that what we’re getting here is an authenticity far removed from the surface antics of such hick flicks as the recent Dukes of Hazzard. Embeth Davidtz plays Madeleine, a Chicago art dealer who marries a charming guy named George (Alessandro Nivola). She heads to North Carolina to meet with a rural artist she hopes to represent, and she and George decide to use the trip as an opportunity for them to spend some time with his family in Pfafftown, NC. The cast is uniformly fine, though the standout is Amy Adams, who earned a special jury prize at Sundance for her disarming turn. As George’s sister-in-law, a pregnant chatterbox who absorbs attention and affection like a sponge, she’s a live wire of emotions, allowing her character to embody hope and heartbreak all in one spirited package. Rating: ***
JUST LIKE HEAVEN A pastiche of Ghost, Ghostbusters, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir and seemingly every other ghost story this side of Bill Cosby’s disastrous Ghost Dad, Just Like Heaven is the latest Reese Witherspoon vehicle that makes ample use of her winsome movie star appeal while largely ignoring the deeper acting chops employed in earlier pics like Election and Freeway. Yet as far as these things go, audiences can do worse, as a clever concept and ideally cast roles make this more bearable than it has any right to be. The plucky actress plays a workaholic who seemingly gets killed while driving home from her hospital job. She continues to haunt her apartment, which proves to be a problem since the place is now occupied by a new tenant (Mark Ruffalo). Ruffalo’s shaggy dog demeanor offers an unexpected counterpoint to Witherspoon’s polished spunk, while Napoleon Dynamite’s Jon Heder summons some laughs as a laid-back bookstore employee. Rating: ** 1/2
LORD OF WAR A good idea badly executed, this drama about an international arms dealer (Nicolas Cage) is immediately doomed because writer-director Andrew Niccol can’t resist soft-pedaling his odious central character. And while Niccol rightly feels that the easy procurement of weapons — not to mention the resultant casualties of war (usually women and children) — is an important issue that requires further discussion, he would have had more success had he placed his data in the context of compelling entertainment. Instead, he merely uses numbing voice-over narration to pile on the statistics and crunch the figures. By the time the movie ends, we’re more primed to take a pop quiz than to take a stand. Rating: **
THE MAN The buddy comedies of the 80s and 90s produced countless bizarre teamings that have mercifully been forgotten by time: Ted Danson and Howie Mandel; Jay Leno and Pat Morita; Martin Short and Nick Nolte; and so on. Belatedly arriving on the scene is The Man, with Eugene Levy as dental product salesman Andy Fidler and Samuel L. Jackson as federal agent Derrick Vann. In a sequence of staggering stupidity, Andy is mistaken for Derrick by murderous gun runners, so the pair must team up in an attempt to set things right. Even at 85 minutes, this is a tedious timewaster, featuring two — yes, two — scenes in which Andy’s flatulence is milked as vigorously as a Hershey cow. We’re also treated to put-downs that might even seem immature to a fifth grader — after Derrick runs down a petty thief with his car, he threatens, “If the front of my car smells like your ass, I’m gonna beat you like a runaway slave!” Come back, Ted and Howie — all is forgiven. Rating: *
MARCH OF THE PENGUINS It’s awfully hard — maybe even impossible — to resist the charms of March of the Penguins, a documentary that’s as single-minded in its approach as its protagonists prove to be in their determination to keep their species alive and kicking. Originally a French film filled with first-person — uh, first-penguin — narration (yes, it went the Babe route of talking animals) and unorthodox pop songs, this has been refashioned for American audiences as a traditional documentary, with pleasant theme music on the soundtrack and soothing narration provided by Morgan Freeman. At the risk of sounding like a xenophobic clod who would endorse “Freedom fries,” I have to say I approve of the changes — hearing a baby penguin exclaim the Gallic version of “Gosh, Dad, it sure is cold with all this ice!” would surely have made me cringe. Director Luc Jacquet and his crew deliver 80 minutes worth of compelling footage, focusing on the annual ritual that finds the emperor penguins embarking on a lengthy, perilous journey to the spot where they’ll hook up with mates and then protect the resultant eggs from the punishing elements. The French are apparently second to none when it comes to making movies that champion wildlife, and March of the Penguins joins Winged Migration, The Bear and Two Brothers as sterling examples of the form. Rating: ***
AN UNFINISHED LIFE A gruff cowboy (Robert Redford) who still blames his daughter-in-law (Jennifer Lopez) for his son’s death isn’t thrilled when she shows up uninvited with her young daughter (Becca Gardner) in tow. It’s good to see Redford playing a character who’s more ornery than iconic, and the impressive Gardner provides a boost to every scene in which she appears — she especially blossoms opposite Morgan Freeman, cast as Redford’s trusty companion. Yet the camaraderie between the Redford and Freeman characters isn’t always convincing — it plays like an inferior version of the Freeman-Eastwood tag team in Million Dollar Baby — while the heavy-handed moralizing leads to all the expected climaxes and conclusions. Rating: ** 1/2
VALIANT This animated feature clocked in at 109 minutes during its recent run in England, and for once, I’m glad of the short attention spans of American tots, as the movie has been mercifully chopped down to 76 minutes for its stateside engagement. The most interesting moment in this turgid film is the revelation at the end that of the 53 Dickin Medals given to animals for bravery during World War II, 31 of them went to pigeons. That sounds like a compelling subject for a live-action documentary (March of the Pigeons?), but instead, the topic has been tossed away on a rigidly rote cartoon that features the usual mix of audience condescension, uninspired computer-animated graphics, obvious morals aimed at small children and, oh yeah, flatulence gags. Ewan McGregor, in his second 2005 tour of duty in a mediocre cartoon (following last spring’s Robots), provides the voice for the title character, who gets to prove his mettle by delivering important messages as part of the Royal Homing Pigeon Service. Rating: * 1/2
OPENS FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 30:
THE GREATEST GAME EVER PLAYED: Shia Labeouf, Stephen Dillane.
A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE: Viggo Mortensen, Maria Bello.
INTO THE BLUE: Paul Walker, Jessica Alba.
OLIVER TWIST: Ben Kingsley, Barney Clark.
PROOF: Gwyneth Paltrow, Anthony Hopkins.
SERENITY: Nathan Fillion, Gina Torres.
This article appears in Sep 28 – Oct 4, 2005.
