New Releases
THE BROTHERS GRIMM The final gasp of Miramax Pictures (disbanded by parent company Disney, with the Brothers Weinstein heading off on their own) brings more than just Grimm tidings; among the handful of shelf-warming final releases is at least one unmitigated disaster. There’s still enough summertime left for another financial mega-flop to clear out movie houses and studio coffers (see also The Island and Stealth), so why not The Brothers Grimm, an $80 million stink bomb that also has the dishonor of being the season’s worst release? (Keep in mind that I skipped Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo.) Terry Gilliam, the former Monty Python member whose peculiar brand of genius doesn’t always translate comfortably to his motion picture endeavors, has concocted an overstuffed boondoggle that’s miles removed from the mind-bending highs of Brazil or Twelve Monkeys. Wrestling with a muddled screenplay by workaholic Ehren Kruger (his third script this year, after The Ring Two and The Skeleton Key), Gilliam has created a noisy and nonsensical eyesore that quickly morphs from a movie into an endurance test. Matt Damon and Heath Ledger are cast adrift as the title characters, con artists whose ability to fool the local yokels of Germany with their fabricated yarns gets put to the test once they encounter genuine monsters. Gilliam’s dark sensibilities (the movie plays like a joyless version of Tim Burton’s Sleepy Hollow) would have been better served if the creatures had been lovingly crafted under the auspices of innovators like Jan Svankmajer or the Quay Brothers; instead, they’re brought to cheesy life by the same unconvincing CGI effects presently being used by everybody else in Hollywood. A bright idea threatens to surface every now and then, but it’s quickly bludgeoned to death by the rest of this fractured fairy tale. 1 star
THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN The summer’s most unexpected surprise, The 40-Year-Old Virgin mixes honest sentiment and raunchy humor in a manner that’s more satisfying than in just about any comparable modern comedy, including the current hit Wedding Crashers — in fact, not since There’s Something About Mary has a movie combined these disparate elements so seamlessly. Displaying sparks of comic invention in small roles in Bewitched, Anchorman and Bruce Almighty, Steve Carell catches on fire here, playing a sympathetic character he created with director Judd Apatow (both are credited with the screenplay). Carell plays Andy, a man-child who sports an impressive collection of comic books and action figures (all in mint condition, of course), rides a bicycle to work every day, and never has even come close to knowing the joys of a relationship, let alone the attendant carnal pleasures. His three co-workers at the electronics store (Paul Rudd, Romany Malco and Seth Rogen) make it their mission in life to hook Andy up; he eventually bumps into a few prospects, the most promising being Trish (excellent Catherine Keener), a divorcee with three kids and a flailing Internet business. The 40-Year-Old Virgin runs almost two hours — normally, that’s a suicidal length for a comedy of this sort, but in this case, Carell and Apatow use the time wisely, developing the Andy-Trish romance at a believable clip and also turning Andy’s three buddies into fully formed characters rather than the one-note sidekicks we’re accustomed to seeing. The movie includes the usual mix of gross-out gags, yet out-of-left-field jokes involving Hair (the musical, not the filament), Asia (the band, not the continent) and the Six Million Dollar Man’s boss signal that this is a comedy with smarts. 3.5 stars
VALIANT This animated feature clocked in at 109 minutes during its recent run in England, and for once, I’m glad American tots have short attention spans, as the movie has been mercifully chopped down to 76 minutes for its stateside engagement. Even the suits at Disney must have known they had a dud on their hands, choosing to release this right before the school year begins rather than smack in the middle of the lucrative summer season. The most interesting moment in this turgid film is the revelation at the end that of the 53 Dickin Medals given to animals for bravery during World War II, 31 went to pigeons. That sounds like a compelling subject for a live-action documentary (March of the Pigeons?), but instead, the topic has been tossed away on a rigidly rote cartoon that features the usual mix of audience condescension, uninspired computer-animated graphics, obvious morals aimed at small children and, oh yeah, flatulence gags. Ewan McGregor, in his second 2005 tour of duty in a mediocre cartoon (following last spring’s Robots), provides the voice for the title character, an undersized pigeon who gets to prove his mettle by delivering important messages as part of the Royal Homing Pigeon Service. Ricky Gervais (BBC’s The Office) co-stars in the annoying role of a smelly, fast-talking bird named Bugsy, and the only consolation is that this role wasn’t given to the obvious choice, Robin Williams. The impressive cast — would that they had been assembled for a distinguished live-action production! — also includes Jim Broadbent, Hugh Laurie, John Cleese and Tim Curry, but they fail to add any distinction to this featherbrained effort. 1.5 stars
Current Releases
BROKEN FLOWERS Winner of the Grand Jury Prize at Cannes, Jim Jarmusch’s latest takes Bill Murray’s accidental tourist from Lost In Translation and drops him into About Schmidt Americana territory. Here, Murray plays Don Johnston, whose catatonic existence receives a much-needed jolt when he learns he may have a son he never knew about. He embarks on a road trip to locate the mother — the candidates are played by Sharon Stone, Jessica Lange, Tilda Swinton and Frances Conroy — but as he moves from woman to woman, the mystery of the son becomes almost incidental; more prominent is the manner in which the hostilities increase the further he travels, as if by opening the door to his past ever wider, he risks permanent damage to the roiling emotions he’s kept bottled up. This is a movie of wry humor and wry observations, and because Jarmusch never feels the need to spell out every character nuance or tie up every narrative thread, it’s certain to strike many viewers as much ado about nothing. But for those who appreciate the delicacy with which Jarmusch can spin a tale, the film will seem like that proverbial rose by any other name. 3.5 stars
THE DUKES OF HAZZARD Airing from 1979 to 1985, the TV series The Dukes of Hazzard was created for people who had trouble following the plotlines of Three’s Company. Inspired by the glut of so-called “hick flicks” that dominated drive-ins throughout the 1970s, the program was primarily an excuse to showcase good ol’ boy shenanigans and plenty of car collisions. This film version follows suit, with cousins Bo, Luke and Daisy Duke (Johnny Knoxville, Sean William Scott and Jessica Simpson) trying to prevent corrupt Boss Hogg (Burt Reynolds) from running Hazzard County into the ground. A sequence in which Bo and Luke drive through Atlanta suggests that the film could have worked as a clever reimagining in which the coarseness of the Old South repeatedly bumps up against the sensibilities of the New South, but this promise quickly dissipates to allow more room for the usual mix of lame slapstick and smash’n’crash auto theatrics. 1.5 stars
FOUR BROTHERS John Singleton helms this standard revenge flick that was a lot more fun when John Wayne and Dean Martin tackled the basic premise in The Sons of Katie Elder. The brothers of the title are Bobby (Mark Wahlberg), Angel (Tyrese Gibson), Jeremiah (Andre Benjamin) and Jack (Garrett Hedlund), raised by a foster home provider (Fionnula Flanagan) after nobody else wanted them. Now grown up, the lads return to their Detroit home after they learn that their mom was killed during a convenience store holdup. But as the siblings snoop around, they realize that she wasn’t an innocent bystander but the target of a planned hit. The four lead actors establish an easygoing camaraderie, but that isn’t enough to overcome silly supporting characters, a hard-to-swallow plotline and a ludicrous climax set on a frozen lake. This is also the sort of movie where a villain’s ruthlessness is established in short-hand by the fact that he swipes a fat kid’s candy bar! 2 stars
MUST LOVE DOGS Many of the elements that have made the contemporary romantic comedy such a grueling (and formulaic) experience are present in Must Love Dogs, and yet the movie nonetheless will work for those willing to surrender themselves to its dreamy passion. The film’s success begins and ends with its leading players, and yet it’s important not to undervalue director Gary David Goldberg’s script (adapted from Claire Cook’s novel), which adds some interesting quirks to a familiar framework. Diane Lane plays a recent divorcee who takes a chance on meeting single men through an Internet dating service, while John Cusack co-stars as the most promising of her prospective suitors. Elizabeth Perkins, Christopher Plummer and especially Stockard Channing excel in key supporting roles, yet the movie firmly belongs to its stars. You either buy into this fantasy or you don’t — me, I happily wallowed in it. 3 stars
RED EYE Red-Eye qualifies as the best movie that director Wes Craven has ever made: Unlike his usual junk (The Last House On the Left, Scream), this at least feels like an A-list project rather than the masturbatory exercises in misogyny he tends to foist upon the public. Rachel McAdams delivers a strong performance as Lisa Reisert, whose flight home to Miami turns into a terror trip once she discovers that the charming guy (Cillian Murphy) sitting next to her will involve her in an attempted political assassination. Red Eye may not expand the parameters of the thriller genre but it certainly knows how to make its way inside its well-established conventions. Unfortunately, that can only take it so far, and even at 85 minutes, the movie begins to coast as it reaches its obvious climax. Still, considering I once wrote that I would never subject myself to any more Craven images, this is enjoyable enough to make me glad I gave him a second — or would that be fifth? Or eighth? — chance. 2.5 stars
THE SKELETON KEY Kate Hudson stars as Caroline Ellis, a caretaker who’s hired to look after a stroke victim (John Hurt) residing in a creaky mansion in the middle of the Louisiana swamps. The patient’s wife (Gena Rowlands) views Caroline with suspicion, though she quickly earns the trust of the elderly couple’s lawyer (Peter Sarsgaard); at any rate, it’s not long before it’s Caroline who has to keep her guard up, as mysterious events suggest that a paranormal presence might be living within the house. The supernatural element extends beyond what’s talking place on the screen, as it appears that Rowlands, delivering a performance of high camp, has been possessed by What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?-era Bette Davis. While enjoyable, her overripe turn dilutes the story’s potency, though the movie rights itself in time for a satisfying twist ending. 2.5 stars
SKY HIGH As long as Sky High tweaks the superhero genre, it remains on solid ground, thanks to knowing dialogue and smart casting. But whenever the movie gets distracted by the conventions of the typical teen flick (the heroes are the popular kids and their sidekicks are the nerds), it becomes a pale imitation of Mean Girls, Clueless and half the John Hughes oeuvre. 2.5 stars
OPENS FRIDAY, AUGUST 26:
THE BROTHERS GRIMM: Matt Damon, Heath Ledger.
THE CAVE: Cole Hauser, Piper Perabo.
UNDISCOVERED: Kip Pardue, Ashlee Simpson.
This article appears in Aug 24-30, 2005.
