New Releases
MONGOL It wouldn’t exactly be accurate to tag this historical drama I Was a Teenage Conqueror, but this Oscar nominee for Best Foreign Language Film (Kazakhstan’s first nod in that category) spends next to no time on the Genghis Khan who would become legendary for invading and occupying much of Asia during the first quarter of the 13th century. Instead, Mongol is reminiscent of movies like Young Mr. Lincoln, The Motorcycle Diaries, Young Winston, and, uh, Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd in that they all focus on the early years that helped shape and define their protagonists. In this case, we witness the brutal conditions which Temudjin (his real name) had to endure as he fought his way to his lofty place in the world. After his father is poisoned, 9-year-old Temudjin (played as a child by Odnyam Odsuren and later as an adult by Tadanobu Asano) finds much of the next two decades spent either chased, caged or forced into slave labor by ruthless Mongolians. He receives help along the way from strangers who soon become friends (and, in one instance, who then becomes a sworn enemy), but he draws most of his strength from his wife Borte (Khulan Chuluun), with whom he’s shared a special bond ever since they first met as children. It goes without saying that Asano makes a more credible Genghis Khan than John Wayne, who essayed the role in 1956’s The Conqueror (yes, unbelievable, but look it up). Yet the real star here is director and co-writer Sergei Bodrov, who largely turns his back on CGI effects and creates stirring battle scenes the old-fashioned way, by orchestrating actors and animals across open landscapes. Somewhere, David Lean is smiling. ***
Current Releases
THE FOOT FIST WAY Certainly, we here at CL want to promote and celebrate regional filmmaking whenever possible, but not at the expense of credibility. To be sure, somebody appreciated this low-budget comedy co-written by buddies Jody Hill (who also directed), Danny McBride and Ben Best (all products of the North Carolina School of the Arts), and that somebody would be Will Ferrell, who loved this film so much that his production company picked it up and he was able to secure a limited national release for it. The star’s interest is hardly surprising, since The Foot Fist Way basically plays like a Will Ferrell vehicle without Will Ferrell. Here, the central man-child is Fred Simmons (McBride), a doltish Tae Kwon Do instructor who runs his own martial arts school in a Concord, N.C., strip mall. Fred is married to a slatternly wife (Mary Jane Bostic) prone to copying her bare boobs and butt on the office Xerox machine (and who gets off the script’s funniest line: “I was really drunk; like Myrtle Beach drunk”), and his misplaced self-esteem crumbles after she admits to giving her boss a hand job. Fred takes his aggression out on his students (most of whom are kids), and even his moment of triumph – getting a Tae Kwon Do champ-turned-B-movie-actor (Best) to visit his school – ends badly. Audience members satisfied with a comedy that offers a handful of ever-so-mild smiles will enjoy this, but anyone on the prowl for sharp satire or even a belly laugh or two will be sorely disappointed by a film whose smugness is never justified by its frat-house humor. *1/2
THE HAPPENING The Happening starts off well before steadily traipsing downhill, and in that respect, it perfectly mirrors writer-director M. Night Shyamalan’s career in this spooky vein. The Sixth Sense may have been a smash, but each subsequent film was less satisfying than the one which preceded it, leading all the way to his disastrous last film, Lady In the Water. The Happening at least represents a step up from that debacle. Opening in NYC, the first scenes show countless people suddenly become zombie-like before proceeding to take their own lives. It’s soon revealed that this phenomenon is spreading to all major cities throughout the northeast chamber of the country; this includes Philadelphia, where a high school science teacher (Mark Wahlberg) and his wife Alma (Zooey Deschanel) elect to leave town before the plague hits. Or is it a plague? No one has a definitive answer, and for a while, Shyamalan steadfastly refuses to give us any hints. It’s during these early passages, when we’re as baffled as the characters, that the film is at its strongest. But the self-appointed master of the last-minute twist here elects to reveal the mystery somewhere around the halfway mark. It’s such a threadbare revelation – and a rather silly one, to boot – that the movie then ambles forward with nothing else left to say. As for Shyamalan’s usual on-screen appearance, it proves to be the most clever aspect of the movie. I don’t dare ruin the surprise, but if you don’t figure it out while watching the flick, be sure to carefully check the cast list in the end credits. Unfortunately, when a movie’s best bit arrives during the closing credits, we’re all in trouble. **
THE INCREDIBLE HULK Is it just me, or is anyone else hankering to go out and rent a handful of episodes from the old TV series The Incredible Hulk? Sure, every show pretty much resembled the others, but Bill Bixby was a smart choice to play the smart scientist, and in retrospect, it was downright comforting to have his rampaging alter ego played by an oversized actor spray-painted in green. In this age, moviemakers have opted to keep Dr. Jekyll but do away with Mr. Hyde, replacing him with a CGI creation. The results were disastrous in Ang Lee’s 2003 Hulk: A dull flick was made even less appealing by a green giant who looked like a video game blip most of the time and Gumby on steroids the rest of the time. This attempt to save the franchise (new director, new writer, new cast) is clearly a superior follow-up, even if the computers still can’t quite capture the misunderstood monster on film. The Hulk looks better here than in the ’03 model, but there’s still a plasticity about him that removes the behemoth – and, consequently, our rooting interest – from whatever action is occurring on screen. That’s a shame, because Edward Norton does his part by providing Bruce Banner with the requisite sense of torn humanity, and the film is filled with imaginative asides for fans of the comic book and/or TV series. The Incredible Hulk is a more-than-serviceable fantasy flick, lacking in the sort of existential angst that propelled the Spider-Man trilogy and Superman Returns but filled with frenetic action that should satisfy the Marvel faithful. But on the scale of superhero flicks, it falls a bit short. In other words, don’t expect Iron Man or Batman to be green with envy. **1/2
INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL Let’s try to put this in perspective, shall we? On the Scale of Cinematic Achievements, the eagerly awaited Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull places dead last among the four big-screen Indy adventures. Given the quality of its predecessors, however, that can hardly be construed as a smackdown. It’s now 1957, and World War II has since been replaced by the Cold War, meaning that our intrepid archeologist-professor-swashbuckler (Harrison Ford) now has his hands full battling Commies instead of Nazis. The Russkies, led by a slinky ball of black-haired menace named Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett), are after an object – a crystal skull, of course – that will aid them in their quest for world domination. Standing in their way is Indy and his gang – chiefly, old flame Marion Ravenwood (three cheers for the return of Raiders of the Lost Ark‘s Karen Allen) and a brash young greaser (Shia LaBeouf). Longtime fans of the series will find the references to past films delightful, and they’ll similarly be pleased to find Spielberg once again at his most limber: The director hasn’t made a film this light and carefree in a long time. The first two-thirds of the film are such a blast that it makes the final section – a CGI blowout low on thrills – feel like even more like a downer. But this is really about one character – and the actor who plays him. After frittering away the past 11 years in poor projects, the 65-year-old Ford again plays a role that fits him like a glove, and his enthusiasm and athleticism serve to further fuel our own glee for the project. ***
KUNG FU PANDA Kung Fu Panda isn’t notable for what it is as much as it’s notable for what it isn’t. It isn’t obnoxious. It isn’t soulless. It isn’t packed to the rafters with potty humor. And it isn’t made solely for the ADD-afflicted. In short, it isn’t like the majority of today’s non-Pixar animated features. The narrative is strictly formulaic, but the delight is in how it wraps its familiar messages of acceptance and self-confidence in a provocative visual scheme that’s always pleasant to absorb. In that respect, it has more in common with Dr. Seuss than the dubiously titled Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears a Who! Jack Black employs his patented schtick as an overweight panda who longs to become a martial arts expert, but it suits this story just fine. As the vicious snow leopard who seeks to claim the high-and-mighty title of Dragon Warrior, Deadwood‘s Ian McShane effectively provides guttural menace. And while the actors who provide the voices for the legendary martial arts outfit The Furious Five aren’t given enough to do (Angelina Jolie, Seth Rogen, David Cross, Lucy Liu and especially poor Jackie Chan are the victims), all is forgiven whenever the character of Master Shifu appears on screen. It’s a sizable part, meaning that we’re constantly treated to Dustin Hoffman’s quirky take on the role of a diminutive red panda who serves as mentor to the other animals. Hoffman has played a remarkable array of characters over his 41-year film career – Benjamin Braddock, Ratzo Rizzo, Dorothy Michaels, etc. – but I never thought he’d be tackling Mr. Miyagi. I was wrong. ***
PRICELESS The women of Sex and the City look as chaste as Mother Teresa when compared to Irene, the protagonist of this French comedy. Promoted by the studio as the modern-day counterpart to Breakfast at Tiffany‘s Holly Golightly (though the film itself evokes Ernst Lubitsch or Preston Sturges more than Blake Edwards), Irene (played by Audrey Tautou) floats around the French Riviera looking for wealthy men to pamper and provide for her. Her current suitor Jacques (Vernon Dobtcheff) has agreed to marry her, but out of boredom, she has a fling with a young millionaire named Jean (Gad Elmaleh). But it’s a case of mistaken identity: Jean is actually a bartender at the resort, and Irene is furious after Jacques dumps her and Jean (now unemployed for sleeping with a guest) is unable to provide for her. Hopelessly smitten, Jean remains in her orbit even after she lands another suitor (Jacques Spiesser), and once he finds himself the companion of an older woman (Marie-Christine Adam) who mistakes him for a gigolo, Irene softens and begins to teach this novice the rules of the game. The P.C. Patrol can feel free to tut-tut at the characters’ morals, but Priceless is such a charming romantic comedy in the fairy-tale vein (a la Pretty Woman) that any ill will would be seriously misplaced. After being drained of all personality for her role in The Da Vinci Code, Tautou regains her Amelie effervescence, while The Valet‘s Elmaleh again displays an easygoing rapport with his own comic intuitions. Add to this frothy mix some gorgeous shots of the French Riviera, and Priceless proves to be a steal at any cost. ***
SEX AND THE CITY Threatened fanboys on the Internet have been driven insane by the mere existence of this film (how dare anyone make a movie centering on women instead of superheroes or Sandler?), but anyone who’s ever bothered to watch the acclaimed HBO series realizes that it need not be the exclusive property of women and homosexuals. Certainly, with its frequent look at eye-popping fashions, it can qualify as female-oriented porn in the same way that Transformers hardware might cause erections in fanboys, but at its heart, the show was about the necessity of enduring friendships and how they can serve as an anchor in a roiling sea of emotional upheavals. In this sequel-of-sorts, Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) is preoccupied with her upcoming marriage to longtime beau Mr. Big (Chris Roth), Samantha (Kim Cattrall) valiantly resists the call of the penis as she tries to remain faithful to her boyfriend (Jason Lewis), Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) struggles with issues of infidelity as they relate to her husband (David Eigenberg), and Charlotte (Kristin Davis) is content with her life as a wife and mother. Superior to most of the year’s rom-coms, this works because its ability to mix real-world issues with reel-world fantasies provides it with both gravity and buoyancy. There are a few missteps – the new character of Louise, Carrie’s personal assistant, reveals that without any showstopping tunes to hide behind, Dreamgirls Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson might not possess an ounce of acting talent – but for the most part, this is likely to satisfy faithful followers of the show, and even select newbies should enjoy this break away from the season’s more clamorous offerings. ***
THEN SHE FOUND ME Before Then She Found Me, it appeared that only two reactions to the soft-spoken Colin Firth were at all possible. Either audiences found him charming in that brooding sort of way (as did the legions of women who swooned over him in Bridget Jones’s Diary and the miniseries Pride and Prejudice) or they found him on the dull side in that drowsy-Brit sort of way. But with this picture, Helen Hunt successfully turns Firth into something new: an annoyance. Firth delivers such an aggravating performance that you just want to separate him from his character and slap them both. Then again, everything about Hunt’s directorial debut – she also co-wrote the script and served as one of the 13 producers – is similarly obnoxious, to say nothing of arch and artificial. Hunt stars as April Epner, an elementary school teacher who, at 39, is desperate to have a baby. Having been adopted, she’s insistent on giving birth herself, a problem when her newly anointed husband Ben (Matthew Broderick, becoming less interesting all the time) abandons her. She does strike up a relationship with the dad (Firth) of one of her students, but even that romance is fraught with tension. Most of her troubles, however, come from the fact that her natural mother (Bette Midler) shows up after all these years hoping to get to know the daughter she gave up decades earlier. Hunt, an overrated actress (her Oscar for As Good As It Gets should be classified as a felony on the part of the Academy), directs as unimaginatively as she performs, which is to say in the traditionally limiting manner of the TV sitcom genre in which she garnered her fame and fortune. Midler tries to provide some lift, but she can’t begin to dent the film’s slipshod construction. *1/2
YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN It was Mae West who quipped, “When I’m good, I’m very, very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.” This film inspires a bastardization of that quote: When it’s funny, it’s very, very funny, but when it’s bad, it’s downright awful. That’s a shame, because choice moments suggest that this could have been Adam Sandler’s best comedy – not a Herculean feat, by any means, but after a career littered with the likes of Big Daddy and Little Nicky, we’ll take what we can get. Sandler plays Zohan, an Israeli antiterrorist agent who tires of his violent lot in life and becomes a hair stylist in New York. As with most scattershot comedies, some gags score while others widely miss the mark. This one contains a greater success ratio than most Sandler flicks, but these humorous moments are still too few and far between, like Easter eggs hidden throughout a grassy field. Most of the time, we’re forced to contend with elements that drag down most Sandler comedies: puerile humor aimed at 10-year-old boys, “gay-panic”-inspired discussions of penis sizes, and Sandler regular Rob Schneider again demonstrating that he possesses the comic instincts of Dick “West Virginia” Cheney. The final half-hour is especially ghastly, and as for the various cameos, they represent one squandered opportunity after another. And what’s with the appearance of the wretched Mariah Carey? After watching her struggle through her agonizing scene, I was ready for Sandler to bring back the puerile penis jokes. **
OPENS FRIDAY, JUNE 27:
BEFORE THE RAINS: Linus Roache, Indrajit.
MONGOL: Tadanobu Asano, Khulan Chuluun.
WALL-E: Animated.
WANTED: James McAvoy, Angelina Jolie.
This article appears in Jun 25 – Jul 1, 2008.
