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GET SMART Get Smart, the TV sitcom that aired from 1965 to 1970, was created by Mel Brooks and Buck Henry, and these legendary funnymen are listed in the credits of this spin-off as “creative consultants.” The word is that neither actually had any real input in this movie, which probably explains why major facets differ from what fans fondly recall about the show. But in at least one respect, there’s a striking similarity: Both have no problem providing the laughs. In the hit series, Don Adams starred as bumbling agent Maxwell Smart while Barbara Feldon played his more competent partner, Agent 99. Working for a government unit known as C.O.N.T.R.O.L., the secret agents had their hands full protecting the world from the rival outfit K.A.O.S. In this update, which seems as much a James Bond spoof as a Get Smart homage, the plot similarly finds Steve Carell’s Maxwell Smart and Anne Hathaway’s Agent 99 out to stop K.A.O.S. head Siegfried (Terence Stamp). All of the performers (including Alan Arkin and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) are given a scene or two in which to shine, although most of the best set pieces belong to the leads. There’s a ballroom sequence involving Maxwell and a hefty dance partner that’s surprisingly sweet-natured – for once, a film honors an overweight person rather than simply making fun – while Agent 99 gets off a monologue that culminates in a sentimental mention of her mom. And therein lies much of the appeal of this big-screen Get Smart: In between the gags and the action scenes, there’s an identifiable human element at work, and this empathy prevents this from being just another big, dumb summer comedy. ***
HANCOCK The idea behind Robert Frost’s poem “The Road Not Taken” can be applied to this sci-fi outing that, somewhat surprisingly, ends up taking the path “less traveled by.” Yet equally surprising is the fact that this enjoyable film would have been even better had it played out as expected. The premise is irresistible: Hancock (Will Smith) is an alcoholic, antisocial superhero whose crimefighting exploits usually end up causing millions of dollars in damage to the city of Los Angeles. The residents have had enough of him, and the police even have a warrant out for his arrest. Hancock couldn’t care less until PR guy Ray Embrey (Jason Bateman), despite protests from his wife (Charlize Theron), decides he’s going to help Hancock overhaul his public image by transforming him from a menace to society into a hero worthy of respect. The first half sprints with this plotline, resulting in a movie that’s consistently funny and inventive – even the typically heavy-handed direction by Peter Berg (The Kingdom) can’t dilute the fun. But without warning, scripters Vincent Ngo and Vince Gilligan orchestrate a major plot pirouette, one that dramatically changes the relationships between the characters and allows a sharp satire to mutate into (in no order) a melodrama, a romance, a tragedy, and a myth-building muddle. No movie should survive such a clumsy shift, and yet this manages to get back on its feet, thanks in no small part to the conviction that Smith and Theron bring to their roles. Audience members willing to hop aboard this emotional roller coaster ride will respond to the resultant pathos far better than viewers wondering why the laughs suddenly went MIA. **1/2
THE HAPPENING The Happening starts off well before steadily traipsing downhill, and in that respect, it perfectly mirrors writer-director M. Night Shyamalan’s career in this spooky vein. The Sixth Sense may have been a smash, but each subsequent film was less satisfying than the one which preceded it, leading all the way to his disastrous last film, Lady In the Water. The Happening at least represents a step up from that debacle. Opening in NYC, the first scenes show countless people suddenly become zombie-like before proceeding to take their own lives. It’s soon revealed that this phenomenon is spreading to all major cities throughout the northeast chamber of the country; this includes Philadelphia, where a high school science teacher (Mark Wahlberg) and his wife Alma (Zooey Deschanel) elect to leave town before the plague hits. Or is it a plague? No one has a definitive answer, and for a while, Shyamalan steadfastly refuses to give us any hints. It’s during these early passages, when we’re as baffled as the characters, that the film is at its strongest. But the self-appointed master of the last-minute twist here elects to reveal the mystery somewhere around the halfway mark. It’s such a threadbare revelation – and a rather silly one, to boot – that the movie then ambles forward with nothing else left to say. As for Shyamalan’s usual on-screen appearance, it proves to be the most clever aspect of the movie. I don’t dare ruin the surprise, but if you don’t figure it out while watching the flick, be sure to carefully check the cast list in the end credits. Unfortunately, when a movie’s best bit arrives during the closing credits, we’re all in trouble. **
THE INCREDIBLE HULK Is it just me, or is anyone else hankering to go out and rent a handful of episodes from the old TV series The Incredible Hulk? Sure, every show pretty much resembled the others, but Bill Bixby was a smart choice to play the smart scientist, and in retrospect, it was downright comforting to have his rampaging alter ego played by an oversized actor spray-painted in green. In this age, moviemakers have opted to keep Dr. Jekyll but do away with Mr. Hyde, replacing him with a CGI creation. The results were disastrous in Ang Lee’s 2003 Hulk: A dull flick was made even less appealing by a green giant who looked like a video game blip most of the time and Gumby on steroids the rest of the time. This attempt to save the franchise (new director, new writer, new cast) is clearly a superior follow-up, even if the computers still can’t quite capture the misunderstood monster on film. The Hulk looks better here than in the ’03 model, but there’s still a plasticity about him that removes the behemoth – and, consequently, our rooting interest – from whatever action is occurring on screen. That’s a shame, because Edward Norton does his part by providing Bruce Banner with the requisite sense of torn humanity, and the film is filled with imaginative asides for fans of the comic book and/or TV series. The Incredible Hulk is a more-than-serviceable fantasy flick, lacking in the sort of existential angst that propelled the Spider-Man trilogy and Superman Returns but filled with frenetic action that should satisfy the Marvel faithful. But on the scale of superhero flicks, it falls a bit short. In other words, don’t expect Iron Man or Batman to be green with envy. **1/2
KUNG FU PANDA Kung Fu Panda isn’t notable for what it is as much as it’s notable for what it isn’t. It isn’t obnoxious. It isn’t soulless. It isn’t packed to the rafters with potty humor. And it isn’t made solely for the ADD-afflicted. In short, it isn’t like the majority of today’s non-Pixar animated features. The narrative is strictly formulaic, but the delight is in how it wraps its familiar messages of acceptance and self-confidence in a provocative visual scheme that’s always pleasant to absorb. In that respect, it has more in common with Dr. Seuss than the dubiously titled Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears a Who! Jack Black employs his patented schtick as an overweight panda who longs to become a martial arts expert, but it suits this story just fine. As the vicious snow leopard who seeks to claim the high-and-mighty title of Dragon Warrior, Deadwood‘s Ian McShane effectively provides guttural menace. And while the actors who provide the voices for the legendary martial arts outfit The Furious Five aren’t given enough to do (Angelina Jolie, Seth Rogen, David Cross, Lucy Liu and especially poor Jackie Chan are the victims), all is forgiven whenever the character of Master Shifu appears on screen. It’s a sizable part, meaning that we’re constantly treated to Dustin Hoffman’s quirky take on the role of a diminutive red panda who serves as mentor to the other animals. Hoffman has played a remarkable array of characters over his 41-year film career – Benjamin Braddock, Ratzo Rizzo, Dorothy Michaels, etc. – but I never thought he’d be tackling Mr. Miyagi. I was wrong. ***
THE LOVE GURU If I had ever entertained the notion that Mike Myers would some day make another movie as awful as the infamous live-action version of The Cat In the Hat, I might have opted for early retirement long before the fact. Yet here comes The Love Guru, and it matches that Dr. Seuss bastardization step for step when it comes to thinking up evil ways to torture audience members. I daresay that even a splinter in the eyeball would be less painful than sitting through this debacle. Myers, who also co-wrote what we’ll loosely refer to as the screenplay, stars as Guru Pitka, an American-born, Indian-raised spiritual leader who’s miffed that he constantly places second to Deepak Chopra when it comes to the popularity of self-help gurus. Pitka is given a golden opportunity to excel when he’s hired by Toronto Maple Leafs owner Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba, and you know you’re in trouble when she’s one of the more tolerable aspects of a movie) to patch matters up between the hockey team’s star player, Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco), and his wife Prudence (Meagan Good), who lately has been stepping out with the enormously endowed Los Angeles Kings goalie Jacques “Le Coq” Grande (Justin Timberlake). And yes, every time Le Coq pulls out le cock, we predictably hear a thud as it hits the floor. In fact, predictability is a rampant problem with The Love Guru, as a substantial amount of gags can be guessed before they even finish coagulating. That’s not to say every joke is apparent before the fact, as witnessed by ones involving copulating elephants, urine-saturated mops and the term “monkey mustard.” An embarrassment, to say the least. *
MONGOL It wouldn’t exactly be accurate to tag this historical drama I Was a Teenage Conqueror, but this Oscar nominee for Best Foreign Language Film (Kazakhstan’s first such nod) spends next to no time on the Genghis Khan who would become legendary for invading and occupying much of Asia during the first quarter of the 13th century. Instead, Mongol is reminiscent of movies like Young Mr. Lincoln, The Motorcycle Diaries, Young Winston, and, uh, Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd in that they all focus on the early years that helped shape and define their protagonists. In this case, we witness the brutal conditions which Temudjin (his real name) had to endure as he fought his way to his lofty place in the world. After his father is poisoned, 9-year-old Temudjin (played as a child by Odnyam Odsuren and as an adult by Tadanobu Asano) finds much of the next two decades spent either chased, caged or forced into slave labor by his ruthless countrymen. He receives help along the way from strangers who soon become friends, but he draws most of his strength from his wife Borte (Khulan Chuluun), with whom he’s shared a special bond ever since they first met as children. It goes without saying that Asano makes a more credible Genghis Khan than John Wayne, who essayed the role in 1956’s The Conqueror (yes, unbelievable, but look it up). Yet the real star here is director and co-writer Sergei Bodrov, who largely turns his back on CGI effects and creates stirring battle scenes the old-fashioned way, by orchestrating actors and animals across open landscapes. Somewhere, David Lean is smiling. ***
SEX AND THE CITY Threatened fanboys on the Internet have been driven insane by the mere existence of this film (how dare anyone make a movie centering on women instead of superheroes or Sandler?), but anyone who’s ever bothered to watch the acclaimed HBO series realizes that it need not be the exclusive property of women and homosexuals. Certainly, with its frequent look at eye-popping fashions, it can qualify as female-oriented porn in the same way that Transformers hardware might cause erections in fanboys, but at its heart, the show was about the necessity of enduring friendships and how they can serve as an anchor in a roiling sea of emotional upheavals. In this sequel-of-sorts, Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) is preoccupied with her upcoming marriage to longtime beau Mr. Big (Chris Noth), Samantha (Kim Cattrall) valiantly resists the call of the penis as she tries to remain faithful to her boyfriend (Jason Lewis), Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) struggles with issues of infidelity as they relate to her husband (David Eigenberg), and Charlotte (Kristin Davis) is content with her life as a wife and mother. Superior to most of the year’s rom-coms, this works because its ability to mix real-world issues with reel-world fantasies provides it with both gravity and buoyancy. There are a few missteps – the new character of Louise, Carrie’s personal assistant, reveals that without any showstopping tunes to hide behind, Dreamgirls Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson might not possess an ounce of acting talent – but for the most part, this is likely to satisfy faithful followers of the show, and even select newbies should enjoy this break away from the season’s more clamorous offerings. ***
WALL-E This animated effort from Pixar is a treat for the young and old alike, although it might end up endearing itself even more to adults than to kids. And it’s not just because grown-ups will enjoy the usual asides tossed their way (e.g. a witty reference to 2001: A Space Odyssey; Alien star Sigourney Weaver providing the voice of a ship’s computer); it’s also because the plot itself will speak to them in a way that it can’t to humans who still don’t possess all their permanent teeth. For ultimately WALL-E is about nothing less than one of the tenets of human existence: the need to find a partner with whom to share life’s experiences. Of course, the switch here is that it’s a robot, not a human, who’s in need of companionship. WALL-E is the last of his type, a Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth-class robot who rumbles around a deserted Earth, as all humans have long since abandoned the polluted planet to take up residence in a gargantuan spaceship called the Axiom. (Yes, it’s a pro-environment cartoon, and it’s no accident that our planet’s Public Enemy #1, George W. Bush, is referenced via a CEO urging others to “stay the course.”) When a sleek robot named EVE (Extra-terrestrial Vegetation Evaluator) is dropped off on the planet to search for signs that it might be inhabitable again, WALL-E pursues her like a dog in heat, and once she’s ferried back to the Axiom, our intrepid little Romeo determines not to let her get away. I won’t reveal any of the action that takes place on the spaceship, but rest assured that the movie retains its comic invention while adding slight degrees of action and menace. And who knew that romance between robots could be so affecting? ***1/2
WANTED Action films are by definition loud and chaotic, but here’s one so hyperactive, it makes titles like Live Free or Die Hard and The Bourne Ultimatum seem as staid as Atonement by comparison. Based on the graphic novel series, Wanted initially feels like an unofficial remake of Fight Club, as cubicle nobody Wesley Gibson (James McAvoy, speaking of Atonement) narrates how he’s been beaten down by his mundane, miserable existence (cheating girlfriend, obnoxious boss, dead-end job). Into his life walks not Tyler Durden but Fox (Angelina Jolie), a tattooed beauty who insists that he’s been targeted for elimination by the same man (Thomas Kretschmann) who recently killed his father. Fox soon introduces Wesley to The Fraternity, a clandestine outfit made up entirely of assassins and led by the cordial Sloan (Morgan Freeman). Shucking aside any moral qualms rather quickly, Wesley joins the group, in the process learning that he possesses untapped skills that make him a natural for this line of work. Russian director Timur Bekmambetov, best known for the visually striking yet dramatically inert Nochnoi Dozor (Night Watch) and its sequels, has crafted a slam-bang feature that revels in its own ridiculousness: To criticize the movie’s outlandish situations would be to miss the whole point of Bekmambetiv’s exercise in excess. Still, the script’s twists and turns aren’t nearly as clever as writers Michael Brandt, Derek Haas and Chris Morgan pretend (the secret involving Wesley’s dad is pretty transparent), and after a while, the movie’s gleeful approach to nihilism proves wearying. **1/2
YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN It was Mae West who quipped, “When I’m good, I’m very, very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.” This film inspires a bastardization of that quote: When it’s funny, it’s very, very funny, but when it’s bad, it’s downright awful. That’s a shame, because choice moments suggest that this could have been Adam Sandler’s best comedy – not a Herculean feat, by any means, but after a career littered with the likes of Big Daddy and Little Nicky, we’ll take what we can get. Sandler plays Zohan, an Israeli antiterrorist agent who tires of his violent lot in life and becomes a hair stylist in New York. As with most scattershot comedies, some gags score while others widely miss the mark. This one contains a greater success ratio than most Sandler flicks, but these humorous moments are still too few and far between, like Easter eggs hidden throughout a grassy field. Most of the time, we’re forced to contend with elements that drag down most Sandler comedies: puerile humor aimed at 10-year-old boys, “gay-panic”-inspired discussions of penis sizes, and Sandler regular Rob Schneider again demonstrating that he possesses the comic instincts of Dick “West Virginia” Cheney. The final half-hour is especially ghastly, and as for the various cameos, they represent one squandered opportunity after another. And what’s with the appearance of the wretched Mariah Carey? After watching her struggle through her agonizing scene, I was ready for Sandler to bring back the puerile penis jokes. **
OPENS FRIDAY, JULY 11:
HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair.
JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH: Brendan Fraser, Josh Hutcherson.
MEET DAVE: Eddie Murphy, Elizabeth Banks.
SAVAGE GRACE: Julianne Moore, Stephen Dillane.
This article appears in Jul 9-15, 2008.
