I have never seen an episode of MTV’s Jersey Shore … don’t judge me. For starters, there’s too much nightlife in Charlotte to sit around and watch TV. So, I have no idea what “The Situation” is, yet I can’t go anywhere without seeing Snooki and her “poof,” on magazines and Whisky River flyers.
Last Tuesday, I got a text from DJ Jazzy Jimmy over at Whisky River asking if I wanted to judge their Snook-a-like contest, in which Snooki would be hosting.
I got rather excited by this invitation — not only do I enjoy doing random shit like that, but a lot of my friends had been talking about it for a week and were going. And, I could get a good close look at Snooki and determine if she wears a bump-it or not. I also wanted to figure out how to fist pump.
First order of business was to Google image Snooki so I could see what she actually looked like … kinda like me. Short … tan … long dark hair …. I made a point to dress extra conservatively so I wouldn’t be mistaken for a contestant.
The line for Whisky River was so long you would think Snooki was putting on a performance. But her performance is partying, and even still, people were freaking out over her like adolescent girls do Justin Bieber. Apparently Snooki is popular … but why?
Granted, I’ve never seen the show so perhaps I’m missing out on what grand thing Snooki has done for society. I can, however, understand why Chelsea Handler would like her. Even with her poof Snooki is still shorter than me — and I’m nearly a midget. She was like an adorable little Guido nugget. I suppose there is some novelty in partying with someone famous for killing brain cells.
Turns out, judging the Snook-a-like contest equated to watching her feed the crowd pickles. I had to stop and look at my friends to ask … “Is this real life?”
As for the contest, my services weren’t even needed. Snooki automatically picked her doppelganger … the hottest one that she wished she looked like.
But even after meeting Snooki, I am still confused … why is she famous?
This article appears in Jul 6-12, 2010.
