Last Tuesday, I went out with the purpose of going to a benefit for the Mental Health Association at the Wachovia Atrium, and somehow ended up judging Whisky River’s Boots & Bikinis contest … I swear I am not a mental health patient. Although my friends may beg to differ.
When they saw me mix together a Bud Light and Diet Coke at the MHA’s Lift Your Spirits benefit, they asked me if I had driven the short bus to the Atrium. So I stood up for my shortness — “5 feet 2 inches baby!” — and made them try it. I may have reiterated their point, but they thought my concoction tasted like a root beer float.
The party wasn’t insane, but it was some fundraising fun and everyone there was totally normal. The band, Liquid Pleasure, sang rap songs by DMX and Nelly … and it sounded good.
One of the bartenders that served up the silly serum plays for the Carolina Queens, a professional, full-tackle women’s football team — one of 42 in the national league. And I am proud to announce that I was unofficially recruited as the back-up quarterback.
“Do you have a good offensive line?” I asked. She said they did, but she also said she broke her neck in one of the games. Yikes.
On my walk home, I passed the EpiCentre and saw former Panthers player Drew Carter who came all the way from Oakland to judge Whisky River’s Boots & Bikinis contest. OK, I made that up. But he did return to his old stomping grounds and we both ended up judging boots and suits. Turns out it’s hard to judge a bikini contest based on personality. Drew was concentrating on his score sheet so hard, it looked like he was doing geometry or something. I couldn’t help but notice all the older men there … at college night?
I think there may have been some confusion between the Lift Your Spirits party and Boots & Bikinis because a couple (or two people that just met, I don’t know) were hardcore making-out against the wall at the Atrium as if the party was so crowded no one could see them. I felt inclined to start serenading them with, “I wanna make love in tha club!”
But I did get some great tips from the Mental Health Association party, which I feel inclined to share with you all:
Get 30 minutes of exercise every day, eat something new (variety is the spice of life), talk with family and friends daily, stay in once in a while, make the most of leisure time and take things one at a time. I think they left out one about avoiding dating completely inappropriate men.
This article appears in Jul 9-15, 2008.
