Close Quarters A 26-year-old man in the University area found a disturbing note left on his car last week, but perhaps more disturbing was the note scratched into the vehicle’s trunk. The man first realized something was amiss when he saw the words “Fuck you” scratched into the trunk of his Chrysler 300. He then found a note on the front windshield that read, “Dear asshole, Next time you park this damn close to me I will hook a toe strap to your car and pull your ass out into the fucking street. Sincerely, one pissed off motherfucker.”
Fair Trade A 50-year-old woman called police after being forced into a trade she didn’t want to make in Uptown last week. The woman said she walked to her car one morning to find that overnight someone had thrown a fire extinguisher clear through the back passenger window and stole her GPS device. The woman will appreciate the trade if her car catches on fire in the near future, but was probably a bit disgruntled at the $1,000 worth of damage done to her Mercedes E500.
Netflix and Chill A man tried to supplement his movie collection last week at a south Charlotte 7-Eleven by filling a cooler with 36 DVDs, worth $144 total, and attempting to run out of the store. The suspect didn’t get far, however, and employees recovered the cooler and the movies, although that was probably the best chance for any of those gas station movies to make it out the door.
Big Boned Security employees at Dillard’s in SouthPark last week went back to review the tape after realizing two suits, worth $2,600 total, went missing. They quickly found the suspect, as they zeroed in on a man who went into the dressing room with both of the suits and came out no longer holding them, but carrying what looked to be a little extra weight under his clothes. The man walked out of the door and was gone.
Keep the Flame Alive A suspect risked a lot for a little last week in an attempt to light a cigarette. Police said the suspect used a punch device to shatter the window to a storefront on Central Avenue, doing $800 in damage, and entered the business to steal two lighters, one orange and one white.
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Bizarre crime from Charlotte police files (August 27)
This article appears in Sep 3-9, 2015.
