Cookie Monster: A man walked into a gas station and knocked down a shelf, damaging some items. He then threw a cookie at the cashier and threatened him with bodily harm. The threat may have gone something like, “Next time I’m coming with a whole cake!”
Chicken Legs: A man was arrested after store security caught him trying to conceal fried chicken worth $4 in his pants. Thankfully, the merchandise was deemed unable to be resold.
Vehicular Chaos: A 24-year-old male told police he was hit in the face with a blunt object at about 1:20 a.m. in a parking lot. A second victim stated that a car then hit him while it tried to exit the parking lot as a result of that assault. Another police report then states that a car in the same parking lot hit three victims, separate from the ones stated above, at 2:18 a.m. One of these victims stated that he was trying to stop another vehicle that hit someone as they were leaving, when he was struck from behind by the suspect’s vehicle. Sounds like a game of Grand Theft Auto to me.
Terrible Teen: A man called police after he woke up the “suspect,” presumably his child, and informed him it was time to go to school. Apparently this kid did not want to go to school because the kid then became so enraged at this suggestion that he threw some things, slammed some others and punched multiple holes in the walls and sheetrock inside the home. I hope he never gets jury duty as an adult: People might get hurt.
Trick or Treat: A female was arrested after she grabbed a “blue fairy tale costume” dress from Walgreens and tried to leave the store without paying for it. When confronted by employees in the parking lot, she threw the dress and fled the scene on foot. What a horrible getaway. I would have put the costume on and flown away.
Economic Signs: A 27-year-old man called police after an unknown suspect took money from him with the intent to permanently deprive him of it. The man reported $1 in cash stolen. I would have done the same thing. That’s a double cheeseburger.
Car-di Gras: A suspect smashed in the passenger window of a car and began stealing things. After taking a digital camera and a stereo system, the suspect decided that wasn’t enough and took a butter knife from the car as well as the party beads hanging from the rearview mirror. Please, take what you want, just leave the party beads.
A Sign of the Times: Also reported stolen in unrelated reports this week: rosary beads, reading glasses and a can of sardines.
Pumpkin Pranksters: A man reported to police that sometime during the night, an unknown suspect threw his pumpkin at his mailbox, destroying both. The terrorists are adapting!
Take and Give: A man was attempting to buy a gift card from a Food Lion when his debit card was declined. Since he already had the activated gift card in his hand, the suspect took this opportunity to run out of the store without paying for it. The one thing he did not take into consideration was that the cashier already had all his personal information for the purchase of the card. Gift card: $10. Misdemeanor larceny: priceless.
Dangerous Streets: A 47-year-old man suffered possible internal injuries when he was injured by a street sweeper. Another man was hospitalized after an unknown male pushed him off his bike as he pedaled down the road. A 52-year-old man was assaulted by four unknown suspects who pelted him with small rocks. Finally, a woman was walking Uptown when a juvenile suspect slapped her on the back of the head and then ran away laughing. It’s anarchy out there folks.
Threat of the Week: A 27-year-old woman called police to report that a man had been harassing her by calling her on the phone at her home and place of employment, thereby violating a restraining order. After she turned off the phone, the suspect left several messages. The suspect threatened to shoot the victim “on the head and I do not care what the law has to say.” Just for those who do care, the law doesn’t have much good to say about shooting people on the head.
More Threats: A victim claimed that a suspect that he knows called him and stated, “I got people that will put you down.” The victim is only 38 years old, making him five in dog years. No need to put him down yet. In a separate incident, a man threatened another victim thusly: “I will yank you out of your apartment and break your arms and legs.”
Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.
This article appears in Nov 11-18, 2008.
