Wet And Wild: A woman called police on behalf of an older friend after she was the victim of a heinous crime. She told police that three suspects walked into the victim’s yard one morning last week and attached her hose to the faucet. They then stole water, which they used to have a water fight in her yard. The reporting person told police the 65-year-old victim was reluctant to file a report on her own because she was scared of the suspects. I don’t blame her. These kids sound terrifying.
I Have A Twin: A 20-year-old man called police after being threatened by someone he had problems with in the past. The victim said he was sitting in his car outside of his workplace, a local Rite-Aid, when a man approached him. He recognized the suspect as a man he kicked out of Rite-Aid a week ago for shoplifting. The suspect started banging on the car and stated, “I know now what your car looks like. I’m coming back with a gun to fuck you up.” That’s why you always bring it with you … in case you get lucky.
Sexting: A 28-year-old woman called police after her ex-boyfriend started harassing her. The man called her between 10 and 15 times in a three-hour span. When she answered one of the calls and began an argument, he threatened to release their intimate photos to their mutual friends. Please contact Creative Loafing for my e-mail address. I’m sure I would get along great with both of you.
Forget Rich: A 25-year-old woman called police after being threatened by a man who seemed a bit enamored with her. She told officers that the man called her and stated, “If I can’t have you then nobody can. I will kill your husband or die trying.” Please, oh please, die trying.
Head Case: A 41-year-old woman called police after being assaulted by her significant other. She told officers the man punched her in the face and head, pushed her down and hit her in the head with a case of beer. He then stated, “I’ll kill you. If the police are coming, I will make it worth their while.” Seriously, getting hit with a case of beer has got to hurt.
easy Bake: Police were going through an apartment complex conducting a search and canvass when they came upon three children unattended in one apartment. The children were all under 12, and the temperature in the apartment was more than 80 degrees. After several unsuccessful attempts to reach the mother, police stayed with the kids until her boyfriend showed up 45 minutes later.
Just Checking: A 54-year-old idiot called police after a neighbor attempted to kill him. He told officers that he rode a go-cart up near the neighbor’s house to see if he would shoot at him. Well, he must have pretty good intuition because the neighbor fired a shotgun at the man, but unfortunately missed. It seems like every time a redneck gets bored, a new extreme sport is born.
Something Fishy: A 48-year-old manager at a local Captain D’s restaurant called police after he was threatened by one of his employees. He told officers that a female employee became irate when she was informed that company procedures required her to read a document outlining company policies. The girl flipped chairs and tables, threw something at the manager’s car and threatened him with bodily harm. The suspect’s sister had to physically restrain her from hitting the victim. Could you make it a little more obvious that you can’t read?
Grill That Beef: Police were called to a Charlotte house last week after a teen was stabbed in the neck with a grill fork by another member of his family. Relatives told the officers that tensions between the two had been marinating for quite some time now.
Wishful Thinking: A 26-year-old woman called police after being threatened by someone she had problems with in the past. She told officers the man placed four phone calls and left 10 text messages in a three-hour span. During one phone call, the suspect stated, “Bitch you’re going to wish they locked me up.” I’m guessing his worthless ass will be calling the same girl in a week saying he’s sorry and asking for bail money.
Threat of the Week: Sometimes the best threat in a week full of so many threats is really not very intimidating at all. A 43-year-old woman called police after a passive-aggressive man tried to extort her. She told officers the man e-mailed her 25 times at work and at one time stated, “I urge you to abide with the instruction given you and get back to me with our money or else you will hate yourself.”
Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.
This article appears in Jun 15-21, 2010.
