Classic Case: Employees at a local Lowe’s Foods called police after catching a young man attempting to shoplift from the store. The man was caught trying to walk out of the store with a pack of Sour Patch Kids, a pack of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and a bottle of Sprite. When he was searched by police it was found that he had a bag of marijuana in his pockets as well. OK, who didn’t see that coming?
Fair Warning: A 49-year-old woman called police after being threatened by a known suspect. She told officers that she saw the man one morning and he stated, “If you ever take out a warrant on me or have me locked up, I will kill you.”
Shopping Spree: Employees at a local Walmart called police after loss prevention officers watched a woman attempt to steal half of the superstore. The security officer observed the woman as she went through the store and picked up a pack of baby onesies, diaper rash ointment, a shower curtain, wash cloths, a hair cutting kit, a Valentine’s Day card, a pack of pacifiers and a box of chicken wings. The woman took this merchandise to the toy aisle where she dumped it all into her large purse. She then purchased some things and attempted to leave. And I still haven’t got any ointment for this rash.
Brick Layer: A 31-year-old man called police after being threatened by a known suspect. He told officers the man called him 30 times in a two-week span and at one point told him, “If I see you on the street, I am going to bust you on the side of the head with a brick.” Does that mean if he catches you in a house, he’s going to hit you with a piece of the street?
Pop: Police responded to Idlewild Elementary School after a student was found to be carrying a weapon. Teachers took a one-inch pink pocketknife from one of the kids and gave it over to officers. Justin Bieber was then suspended for two weeks, and street cred points were not given.
In Debt: A 22-year-old man called police after he was assaulted by a known suspect. He told officers that the man walked up to him while they were inside a mutual friend’s house and whispered, “I still owe you that ass whopping,” before striking him on his left ear with a closed fist. The only problem was that the punch was hard enough to put him over his balance, and now he is owed a wet willy by the victim.
The Great Escape: Police responded to Farms Elementary School after a student became unruly and wanted desperately to leave. The assistant principal reported to a classroom after a child became upset and tried to run out of the class and into a school bus. When she arrived, he tried to do it again, and in her attempts to restrain him, she got scratched down both arms. When the student finally calmed down, he was brought to the office and released to his mother, who brought him home. That’s all he wanted in the first place. Why can’t you lock him in a closet or something? I should never be a parent.
Nail Biter: An employee at Happy Nails salon called police after being assaulted by one of her customers. The employee told police that the woman became upset with the services she was provided and began punching the employee in her shoulder. If you’re not careful you’re going to break a … OK, too easy.
Fresh Pickin’: Employees at a local Costco called police after catching a woman attempting to steal from the store. The loss prevention officer caught the woman trying to steal a pack of blueberries and two packs of Nyquil cold medicine from one of the only stores in Charlotte that checks your bags as you leave. I see plenty of Blackberries stolen in the reports every week, but this is a first for blueberries.
Sticky Situation: Police were called to a Fuel Pizza restaurant after someone stole the gumball machine from inside of the building during business hours. Apparently, it’s not easy to tell whether someone is just grabbing a Creative Loafing while they walk out or picking up a huge metal object with a humongous sphere on top of it.
Threat of the Week: A 45-year-old woman called police after being threatened by a family member. She told officers she received a text stating, “Onun Kilina birsey gelsin seni yok ettirim orda haddini bil. Dogan ve ailesi de takipte su anda ona gore.” She told officers that she translated it from Turkish to mean that her family member was going to have her killed. I translated it to mean that there was a curse placed on someone, but maybe I’m just ignorant.
Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.
This article appears in Feb 22-28, 2011.
