LOCAL MAN CONFESSES TO BREAKING INTO 192 BUSINESSES IN EIGHT MONTHS
With that kind of enthusiasm and initiative, shouldn’t this guy be in sales?
COLIN FARRELL SUES WOMAN FOR RELEASING A SEX TAPE OF THE TWO OF THEM
Let’s hope he gave a better performance than in Alexander.
CABARRUS TO HOST SONS OF CONFEDERATE VETERANS CONVENTION
Get your Goober card punched at the door and and you’ll be eligible to win a battle-flag design spit can.
BILL JAMES VOLUNTEERS TO FILL VACANT SCHOOL BOARD SEAT
And you thought their meetings were already a three-ring circus.
JUDGE DISMISSES DEPORTATION CASE AGAINST FOUR YOUNG PEOPLE
US Immigration harasses Hispanic teens who are smart enough to build a solar-powered boat for a US science competition, but can’t afford to go after illegal repeat drunk drivers who kill? Huh?!
BUSH CHOICE FOR SUPREME COURT SAID TO DELIGHT ULTRA-CONSERVATIVES
Supporters of Roe v. Wade await the worst, while the price of coat hanger stock rises dramatically.
7-ELEVEN’S SLURPEE TURNS 40 THIS YEAR
That’s approximately 2.5 million brain freezes in four decades.
P. DIDDY SAYS HE’LL CHANGE HIS NAME AGAIN
Great. How about changing it to Self-Absorbed Has-been?
This article appears in Jul 27 – Aug 2, 2005.
