86-YEAR-OLD JAILED AFTER CALLING 911 20 TIMES IN 38 MINUTES TO GRIPE ABOUT A PIZZA NON-DELIVERY
And she wonders why the pizza guys called her a “crazy old coot.”
NEW ARKANSAS CREATIONIST MUSEUM SHOWS ADAM & EVE WITH DINOSAURS
Great. American science is now as fun as The Flintstones.
TODD SAUERBRUN PLEADS GUILTY TO DWI CHARGE
Sorry, Todd, squeaky clean Charlotte could overlook the steroids, but drunk driving?! We’ll pray for you.
RANDY “OLD UNIT” JOHNSON NOT EXACTLY MOWING DOWN HITTERS AS A YANKEE
Hey Steinbrenner, ever heard of building a farm system? Oh yeah, that’s right, you dismantled yours.
FILIBUSTER COMPROMISE PRACTICALLY GUARANTEES THREE RIGHT-WING JUDGES’ CONFIRMATION
And the Democrats consider this a victory? We’d hate to see the spin they’d have put on, say, the Inquisition or the Holocaust.
LYNYRD SKYNYRD BACKS BO ON AMERICAN IDOL
Paula holds her nose, asks, “Who let the pasty old rednecks in?” Simon says, “At least Bo’s got better stage presence than the fat-boy who died in that crash.” Gary Rossington says, “Uh… Hello Cleveland?”
This article appears in Jun 1-7, 2005.
